Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

Hello and long time no see everyone. I have internet access again and my computer is still not fixed. But I am back, at least for today. I left the sunny land of Florida and headed up to Indiana for a small, well earned Christmas vacation with my family. I will officially be back on Monday. See ya all soon.

Saturday, December 1, 2007


Sorry folks.. it is probably going to be another week before I post.. My computer has been on the blink and I am putting it in the shop. I am praying that it won't take it that long to get fixed.. But I have tons of stories.. so I will just have to write them on paper until I can get back online.. sorry for the delay in posting.

Happy Holidays!!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Gift of Giving

In this day and age, you really don't get to witness a term called, "The Kindness of Strangers." But in my line of work it is a real treat when this happens. Even if the kindness is not directed at you. I thought since Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and I still can't believe how this year has flown by, that I would tell you a few unique stories of things I have had the pleasure to witness.

The pain of 9-11 is still in every one's hearts. The days of people seeing a soldier and just walking by him are long gone. Almost every time there is a man in uniform in my restaurant, at least one person approaches his or her table and thanks them for the service they give our country. The soldier, politely, says "Thank you." Sometimes a pleasant conversation is started and you can see some of the ways people call old fashioned, played in action. I love it when a see a soldier approach a veteran and thank them for what they have done for our country in the past. It is the younger generation recognizing the elder population.

A few weeks ago, I was waiting on a table of soldiers. Four men and one woman. I was having blast joking with them and such. A fellow server approached me. They said that their table wanted to talk to me. Finding it a bit odd, I went on over to a table that was not mine. The lady sitting there wanted to purchase the soldiers meal as a Thank You for their service. I was pleasantly surprised and allowed her to do so. I let my guests finish their meal with no clue as to what had happened. When it came time to leave them the check, I let them know that a generous lady had taken care of their entire bill. They all wanted to know who had done such a nice thing. The lady hadn't asked for me to not tell them, so I let them know. Again, thanks and talking was exchanged. Strangers helping strangers. I love seeing that.

Then yesterday, yet another incident happened. Which is what brought this story about. There was a really young couple. I would say easily twenty, twenty-two max. The woman is pregnant. They were just out for a nice lunch. Apparently had errands to run and such. This time a man approached the server of the young couples table. He wanted to buy their meal, and provide the tip. He said he remembered starting off young with little ones. He said, "You can let them know that I want them to save this money for the baby. But don't tell them that it was me." This man didn't know the young couple at all. He was just drawing from his past and decided to help someone out. The young couple naturally wanted to know who was so kind, but alas, we honored the man's request. The were told not to tip. The man took care of that as well. Hopefully that young couple will remember that and pay it forward in their own way in their own time.

I am a firm believer in the Pay It Forward way. I have been helped so many times in my life and when I can I help out others. Just something to think about as the Holiday season is approaching.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Money Confusion

Basically, a lot of posts have to do with money. Hell, that is what my job is primarily about. Last night I was removed from the floor and put behind the bar. I was not happy about it. I can make better money on the floor on a Friday night. The bar on the weekends has two bartenders and you split everything fifty fifty. Wouldn't be bad, but if one of you sucks, so does the money.

I ended up being the closing bartender, which means the other one gets to leave way early. She said I could keep the tip out from the servers if I took on her work so she could just walk out the door. Naturally, I said yes. We were dead and didn't make anything. Or so I thought.

I don't get it, but I ended up making more money then I thought. Not that I am complaining mind you. It just doesn't feel like I made that much. I really need it for rent, but still, you know that feeling you get when something feels off? I got that feeling. I made the manager double check my cash out and my draw. He swears all was fine. So still in shock, but still feeling odd.

I guess I should chalk it up to total good luck and someone looking out for me. But if you read my other site, then you know that good luck is something that doesn't happen to me. If this keeps up I am going to buy a lottery ticket and see if I can truly get lucky. I will let you know if I win.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Friday Night Fights

I am pretty sure everyone at sometime has someone that they just have to yell at. Well, unfortunately with my stress level on Friday's, tonight was my night.

I have a type of claustrophobia, not sure exactly what it is called. But if I get surrounded by a large number of people and I can't move, I tend to act rudely. Some call it bitchiness, I call it get the hell out of my way syndrome. I don't like feeling crowded into a corner. Makes me defensive.

Friday and Saturday nights are the worst nights for it. Those are the nights that we have such a huge amount of servers on the floor. The dish pit is the easiest place to get pinned in at. So after about six times getting pinned in a corner, my stress level is at it's max.

Well, someone decided to take the coffee pot out onto the floor, what the didn't bother to do is check to see if the coffee pot was done brewing. Next thing you know there is a huge mess. I was cleaning it up and talking about it to one of the other servers. Basically complaining about someone being stupid. The person returns and we tell him, "Hey, you took the coffee pot before it was done brewing. Duh!" A fourth server decides to get snotty with me, for telling the male server about his mistake. Wasn't a good idea. So I basically told her to butt out, I wasn't talking to her. Like I said, on Friday's, I can be a real bitch. So she decided to call me a Bitch. I don't really care. I am one. Not gonna lie. So we started to get into an argument. She tried to act like she had the right to but into my conversation and I let her know it was none of her business.

Much milder then the fight I got into the other night with "Mr. Know-It-All". You know the one I mentioned in the past. He tried to act all high and mighty with me, like he is Mr. Perfect, when in actuality he is Mr. Suck Up. I pretty much stopped that one before it got out of hand. I just told him to shut the fuck up. My boss was standing there and heard the whole conversation and told him to shut up too. Was rather funny. But so glad I was in the right.

Being a server, you never lack for drama.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Happy Halloween

Zombies and the walking dead,
Every moment filled with dread.
Vampires come to suck you dry,
Witches with their evil eye.
Creepy creatures 'round each bend.
Will this terror never end?
The shrieking beasts,
The angry mob.....

But enough about my crappy job.

Have a wonderfully Happy Halloween everyone!!!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Saturday's Shitheads

I just had to give a Shit Head Award. My own creation. You can borrow it if you wish for a shit head that you might know.

Before I tell you about the award winner, I just have to tell you. The shit heads were out in full force. There was almost a tie, then I decided that the second place contender deserved a special trophy. So he will get his on Thursday.

I will say that the guests were rather diverse this evening. I did have some rather delightful people. But the overall majority were just terrible. How can you go out, share a meal, bring your bill to thirty dollars and then tip two dollars? Beats me, but I would love to set up a questionnaire and mail it to people. Seriously.

Tonight's winner asked me why in the hell don't restaurants carry Busch? He got angry that we didn't carry that lower class beer on tap. What the hell? We are an upper class establishment. Not a Honky Tonk bar. He was a redneck through and through. I know about rednecks. My family is all redneck. So don't think I am picking on him just because he is one. Then he had the audacity to tell me that by answering his questions, it wouldn't affect my tip. What an ass. I don't just wait on people for money. I actually care about the service I give. I enjoy my job. His wife ordered two drinks. Alcoholic beverages. She didn't even call the drink by the proper name. The drink was called a Confusion and she kept ordering a Confession. I didn't say anything.

He proceeded to inform me, "I have a few questions for you, and don't think I can't afford to eat here, I can. I also know about steaks, so you can't fool me." WTF?? He was antagonistic from the get go. I NEVER pre-judge my tables, but this one should have been. I said, "Yes, sir. What can I answer for you?" He then asked me why a porterhouse had part New York Strip and part Filet and why the bone was included. Ummm.. Hello?? If you know about steaks a Porterhouse has a bone. It is a New York strip on one side and a full Filet on the other. The bone in the middle adds to the flavor, that is why it is such an expensive steak. Not just because of the size, but because of the quality of the meat. Anyways, I digress. I served them with smiles and friendliness. I treated them the same as I do all of my tables.

Their bill was $77.30. My tip left on the table was $6.00. But after the husband got up, the wife reached over and removed a dollar. Bringing the tip to $5.00. So much for answering the questions not affecting my tip.

So, if you think that is bad, wait until you see the winner on Thursday.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I Have Decided

Thank you all for you wonderful comments. I guess I am pretty good at bitching LOL.

I decided that on Every Thursday I will do a Thursday's Trophies.. that will be the day I award my personal trophies to the winners and losers of the week. Such as rudest guest, dumbest co-worker.. etc.

Keeping with the Sunday's Sinners.. I will have to say.. I told my boss I would no longer work Sunday's. I usually pull doubles every Sunday. I work my ass off for shitty people and shittier tips. It wasn't just because of that though. I decided that even though I need to work, being a single mother is more important. I decided that I should have at least one day every weekend off. And since I absolutely HATE Sunday's. I told him that is the day I would love to have off every week. But, I am sure I can come up with something for a Sunday's sinners post.

Until next time......

Sunday, October 14, 2007

What Do You Prefer?

I have been thinking. Scary I know. I love this blog. I want to keep it original. Yet, I see so many good ideas out there in bloggerland. I don't want this blog to be just bitching about bad tippers. Though I am sure some of you find me funny sometimes. I also don't want to be repetitious. At least not in a dull redundant sort of way. So I ask you, my avid readers and friends. Do you have an original or fun idea for something I could do on a weekly basis. Something that I would do every week, for fun and entertainment. Trying not to pilfer from others ideas.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Displays of Affection

Sometimes I think I will run out of things to bitch about, then in walks another clueless set of people.

There is nothing more disgusting, then to bring something to a table and they have their tongues shoved so far down each others throats that you think they are gagging each on purpose. I have literally walked up to a table and seen a man with his hands so far up a woman's skirt you would think he was fishing and lost his damn pole.

I don't mind standard displays of affection, but if you want to get kinky, pick a place that doesn't have children running around in it. I am all for sex education for kids, but I don't think mauling each other in a restaurant is considered sex ed. Pretty sure it is considered tacky. Yep.. Tacky!

Rather like public soft core porn. I don't want to watch it, would rather be participating in my own event. Wonder if servers could give tables awards for how inappropriate guests could be in public. Such as mini Olympics. Gold, Silver and Bronze for how affectionate, how crude, how cheap and how rude. I might have to consider marketing that one.

Sorry Christine, wasn't abducted by Aliens. I usually keep up with my Real Life blog better then this one. If you ever wonder what happened to me, you can fine me here. Thanks for the concern. It is greatly appreciated.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Take Me Out

Ever go to a nicer restaurant and order take out? I used to only think of take out as Chinese or when my table would order an additional item to take home. Not anymore.

Last night I bar tended. I am the relief bartender. I actually enjoy it more then serving, but don't tell anyone. ;o) Last night I got my ass kicked. Seriously. I appreciate our bartenders more now. No longer will I stand impatiently waiting for a drink. I finally was busy enough when I bar tended to see exactly what they are going through.

Not sure about some places, but in ours, our bartenders not only have the bar, they have four tables and they take care of the take out orders. A lot of work for three dollars an hour. Thankfully, some people tip on take out orders. Which is greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, other do not.

I have been reading up on this subject before I write about it. The general consensus is that 10% is fair and I highly agree with that. There is nothing like being on a roll and dishing out drinks to suddenly stop everything to take a phone call. Rather irritating really. Not that I mind taking the calls, it is that they just seem to arrive at the worst possible times.

My bar was full last night, not a seat empty. My tables were full as well. And at one point I had five take out patrons standing, waiting patiently for me to cash them out and give them their food. I kept my cool, but boy was I ever wanting to be able to stop just for a moment and breathe. Didn't happen.

The funny thing is, I ordered a take out cheesecake for myself. And wouldn't you know it, I didn't tip myself and I forgot the damn thing at work. God's way of telling me my fat ass doesn't need take out I guess.

Thankfully last night all of the take out orders were very patient and nice. So if you can't tip your take out person. At least be nice.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Cell Phone Frenzy

Basically I haven't had too much to write about, things have been reality normal at work at least.

Though today, there was a high number of cell phone users. Cell phones don't really bother me. Hell I own one. What bothers me is how people go about using them. People are just down right inconsiderate about it.

Several of my tables today, sat down. When I greeted them, their phones rang. No excuse me, not even to their table guests. I was trying to get a drink order at one table. I finally just looked at the cell phone users lunch companion and stated. "I will be back shortly."

I am not going to stand there at any table and wait for someone to acknowledge me when they feel like it. If you don't want someone to wait on you, why do you go out to a sit down restaurant? It makes no sense. Are people so oblivious to anyone but themselves, that they can't even order their meal?

It seriously irks me. I get tired of going to a table, not even being able to say Hello. And BAM! A phone rings. I have seen a table of two people, have and entire meal, while one person is on the phone. Just the person I want to dine with. NOT! The one table I seen that takes the cake was a family. The mom and the dad were on the phone, the oldest son had an IPod in his ear, their daughter had a Blue Tooth in her ear, the youngest daughter was watching a portable DVD player and the youngest son was playing a portable Nintendo. Not a single soul spoke to each other except to order their meal. I know this is the Age of Convenience, but good grief. These people needed to spend their time as a family. I would hate being them and waking up one morning and have not a single fun family dinner moment.

What are your opinions on that one?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Same Song Woes

Sorry I have been Missing In Action so to speak. Just been caught up in real life. Working six days a week. Hell my kids are lucky if I see them. Now on to the purpose of the title.

Have you ever been to a restaurant on your birthday? Better yet, do you work in one that has that stupid ass birthday song? God I hate ours. I had a contest with several servers one day. We were arguing over whose birthday song was the worst. I am happy to report.. or maybe unhappy to report ... I was the winner of the worst song!! I received a round of "I'm sorry's!" Truly it was funny as hell.

Not only is the birthday boy or gal embarrassed, so are the singers. We have to ignore our guests to go sing a seriously annoying song. To make ourselves feel better though, we have created our own versions and variations of the song we have to sing. Though we usually sing it about people who annoy us. Not always our guests. I have sang the song, or rather my version of it, dedicated to many a co-worker who has annoyed me beyond belief.

Here is my version. It is personally for people who piss me off. Enjoy!

Fried chicken,
Broken glass,
Your so stupid,
Kiss my ass.

The beauty of this song is, that when I sing it, my co-workers who have annoyed me think I am making fun of the song. Little do they know. The joke is on them.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Sunday Sinners

Before I even begin, I am issuing a warning. I am going to bitch, whine, moan and complain. I am not up for trying to educate or humor. I am pissed and going let go, because this is my platform.

Remember, I warned you before you began reading.

I am sick of working Sunday mornings. They are literally the worst day of the week to work. Nothing but parities and grouchy ass people. They are also the worst tip days.

I do believe, and I am not attacking religion here, that church going Bible thumping people are the worst to wait on. They look at you and ask, why aren't you in church? DO you believe in God? Of course I do. Every Sunday, every server is looked at like we are the anti-Christ because we aren't in church. And all I want to do is ask them, who the hell would be here to wait on you if I had been in church? I would love to go and spend time at church with my children. But every Sunday, I send my kids off on the church bus and I go to work. And every Sunday the restaurant fills up with grouchy people, shitty tippers and cheap assholes.

At least half of the tables this morning were filled with grouchy people. Seriously. I mean, if you don't like getting up on your day off and it makes you rude to those you encounter. Sleep in dammit and wake up in a better mood. Keep your pamphlets, fliers or whatever you call them. We don't want them. I believe in God and a higher power. But he doesn't pay my bills or feed my children. I do.

No matter how bad my day is, (and believe me, I have some bad ones. Read my real life blog for proof.) and no matter who I meant. I put a smile on my face. Whether it is at work or not. I can be a full frontal bitch, not gonna lie. But rude people annoy me.

Ugh! Okay, I think I have bitched enough. Why don't you tell me some of your rude people experiences that set you off in a bad way? and how you dealt with them.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Tiny Tot Warfare

I just had to write about this today. In my line of work, I see many stupid things. The most popular is how parents treat their children.

I have see parents smack bottoms, take children to the bathroom (and you know the kid doesn't have to potty), seen a spatula brought from home (it sat on the table as a warning to the child not to act up) and seen children ruling the parents.

Children ruling the parents are the worst. Not just because it isn't appropriate, but these kids are unruly, disrespectful and sometimes mean. What a lovely next generation some people are raising. The latest in this thread of children having the upper hand is: There was an adorable little girl, or I thought she was at first. The parents placed her in the high chair and all was well for about fifteen minutes. After that she was hell on two feet. She proceeded to scream like a banshee, kick like a mule and tell her parents to let her out NOW! Instead of disciplining said child, they removed her from her seat and proceeded to let her run around the table and to various other areas in the restaurant. At the risk of losing my job, I wanted to tell them to park her bratty ass.

It is dangerous to allow children to run freely around a restaurant, not to mention annoying as hell. The food on the plates is at minimum 180 degrees. The child can get burnt. The child causes a server to play "Dodge the People" and believe me it isn't a fun game. The child also annoys the other patrons of the establishment. Basically, it shows a complete lack of parental skills.

Guess what? When this kid is 16, and she is not listening to a word you say or respecting you, you are going to be whining, bitching and moaning to everyone who will listen.

Save our ears. Take control and be a Mom or Dad!

I am the take my child to the bathroom type. My boys sit at the table, do not scream, kick or cry. And if they make a mess they shouldn't make, they are the ones cleaning it up. God help my kids if they ever even thought of spreading mashed potatoes on the wall. (Yes that has happened) Their art work is limited to paper. Don't get me wrong, they are not perfect, but when we go out to dine, unless it is Chuck E. Cheese, they behave or else.

Tell me about some of your child experiences while dining out. I am most curious to hear new stories.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Tip Jar Wonders

Speaking as a person who survives on tips, I have noticed a huge crop of Tip Jars. Placed at some relatively unique locations. So I wonder now, are people just using tips jars for extra cash?

I went into a Dunkin Donuts. There was one by a cash register. I know for a fact that the people that work there make above minimum wage. So does handy a fat lady like me a donut require a tip? I mean, your paying a dollar a donut as it is, so what would you tip? and why?

Do the random tip jars make a mockery of the people who are actually in need of a tip? Is the result of numerous jars at outrageous locations the reason for dwindling tip amounts? Basically, are people getting tired of tipping?

You tip your hair dresser, the bell hop, your server and several other occupations. Now we are supposed to tip a cashier?
I am not saying this to degrade the random jars, hell I don't care if someone is trying to make an extra buck or two. That is what I am trying to do every day at work. But if we don't tip the cashier at the grocery store, why should we tip out someone at a donut shop? They do less then the grocery clerk does.

The next thing you know there will be a tip jar at the doctors office, the bank and the insurance company. In my opinion they all get too much of our money anyway. If they start using the random Tip Jar, are they in anymore rights then the before mentioned cashier?

Just some curious questions that have been flitting through my mind. Crazy, I know, but hey that is me.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Are You Clear?

Are you clear on etiquette around the world? A friend of mine sent me this little quiz. Take it. Enjoy. And learn some interesting facts. For those that are thinking of avoiding the Quiz. It is only ELEVEN questions okay? LOL


Saturday, August 4, 2007

Power Tripping

In my particular restaurant, we have employees called "Keys". Basically, a Key is a person who excels at customer service, their job and can do several positions in the store. I am a Key. I can serve, bar tend, prep, dish wash and do Fry/Salad(busy ass back line cook position). I love that. It is a tough and honored position to have in a store. Because a Key can do all of these different positions they are honored occasionally with a high hourly wage and day where they work as the boss.

It is a difficult position to be in at times. For if you cannot handle being the boss for a day and then returning to your usual position amongst your peers, being Key is not for you.

There is one server that I work with, whom most of the restaurant despises. I have given him the benefit of the doubt. Tried to see the good side. Today, I failed and lost my temper. The bosses think he is great. He is not. He is a sub par server, not eloquent with guests and is lazy to the point of ticking off ever server he is stuck in a section with. Not to mention the hosts would love to string him up by his toes, upside down from a tree and beat him silly.

The other day, the bosses made him Key.

I will admit, minus his ability to speak to his co-workers correctly, he did a very good job. For once, I saw him bus tables, actually talk to guests and run food. I was impressed to see him actually working hard for a change.

Needless to say, he managed to basically tick off all of the servers tonight. I am glad I was boss lady tonight. The only thing I saw him doing wrong was marching down the server line and barking orders to clean this, stock that, like a drill Sargent. I am pretty sure I don't wish to be in his shoes tomorrow morning when he returns to server status.

I served this morning, bar tended in the afternoon and was Key at night. I had a busy day.

I ended up telling the new Key off in the morning shift. We were both serving and he snatched a tray of food, for my table, that I was going to run and told me to stand there and wait for the next food to come out of the window. Not smart. Being I am a natural red head, I am blunt to a fault and I have a temper to compile it all together. This is the response he earned.

"Don't tell me how to do my fucking job, (insert dumb ass' name here). Piss off!"

I went directly to my boss and said, "I let (insert insulting name here) tick me off and I let him have it. Just in case he says something to you. Not going to deny it. He deserved it. You can write me up if you want."

The new "Key" had no response. He is not used to people telling them what they think of him or his attitude. His eyes got wide and he looked shocked. If he knew me, he wouldn't be shocked at all.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Don't Touch My Baby!

This day started out normal. I was in a good mood. Business was steady. Not too much chaos. Hell, a nice looking man even asked for my phone number today. Then I got this table I am about to speak of.

The guests sat down and I politely greeted them. I took their order and took care of their every need. There was three of them and they each needed no less then six refills a piece. Everything went smoothly. All smiles. They had a very adorable baby girl. The Father was having difficultly getting his daughter in her car seat carrier. And here is what happened.

"Are you having trouble sir?" I ask, as I reach towards the car seat to help him figure out how to fasten it up.

"Don't touch my baby!" is snarled by the mother who was trapped near the wall.

I literally flinch. A simple, don't touch the baby, in a moderate tone would have sufficed. But she changed from a nice smiling customer to a psycho before my eyes.

I quickly moved my hands away from the car seat. I look at her and say, "I'm sorry. I was just trying to help him fasten her in."

"I don't care what you were trying to do. Don't touch my baby!" her voice gets agitated even more.

"I truly am sorry. I wasn't trying to offend."

"I don't care what you were trying to do. You don't just go up to someones baby and try to touch them. Do you have any idea what is on your hands after carried all of that stuff in there?" she questions me, as her voice gets increasingly louder.

"I understand. I have three boys. If it makes you feel any better, I wash my hands every time I enter that door and I just washed them before I came back out here." I stated.

She gets even more angry with me. "Just bring us our change we want to go."

At this point I am baffled. I didn't think I had done anything wrong and I believed I had handled the confrontation appropriately. I quickly brought them their change and went in search of a manager. I found him and told him. "If you get a complaint call later, it will be about me. I was just trying to help and this woman went crazy on me over her baby."

He proceeded to ask me what happened and I told him. I told him I thought she was psycho. Apparently they had came to the door and were listening in on my conversation. All hell broke loose when he went out there to talk to them. They proceeded to lie and say I was a shitty server the whole time. They said I never tried to apologize and got confrontational with them. That of course almost got me in trouble. Thank goodness, my boss knows me much better then that. The only thing I got in trouble for was for not taking him to the office to tell him what happened. Still, I have never had a guest go crazy on me before. Shook me to the core. I hate that about my industry. The customer is not always right. I am sorry, but guest or not, I feel they don't have the right to go ape shit on a server. So basically, I am just down right personally offended. I gave my night shift away. I was so mad that this woman was allowed to treat me like I was disgusting, accuse me of harming her child and got free food out of it.

Naturally, I didn't get a tip. Imagine that!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Behind The Scenes

Ever really wondered what was going on while you were sitting and waiting patiently?

Every restaurant has rules. Rules of conduct. Rules to be followed. Rules to add order to chaos.

Sad to say, that when a server approaches your table, 90% of them have to say something specific. Usually our sales pitch. It is required of us to spiel you. We have to lure your attention to something more specific. It is a main part of my job and the only part I dislike. I think it makes us sound like a robot. As if I have a huge computer chip shoved up my ass. I can see it in the eyes of my patrons as I am speaking. Thank goodness for creativity. I endeavour to do my best to read my table. Judge and see if they mind if I toss in a joke. Humour lightens the mood. Thankfully, most of my guests tend to have a sense of humor.

The next step of the behind the scenes is timing. Most have a time limit on when everything has to be served. At my particular restaurant, drinks must arrive within two minutes, after we leave the table. Not an unreasonable goal. Except on weekends. Thirteen servers. One drink station. Utter catastrophe.

Then the appetizers must reach you in a certain amount of time. That one depends on the cooks. Trust me when I say don't piss them off. The better you are in with your cooks, the quicker you will get what you need.

Next, the salads. Here is the tricky part. After you have received your appetizer, we then have two minutes to make your salads and get them to the table. It is usually a toss up (no pun intended). If you bring the salads to quickly, you take the chance of angering your guests. If you bring them out too late, the meal could arrive to quickly. Again, offending your guests. One salad station, and 13 servers. Good Luck!

Finally, your meal arrives. That is when servers go crazy. Not intentionally. But simple things, such as extra butter and A1 (which is made with raisins, and a true steak lover would NEVER use it) could have been asked for at time of order. The worst, is that someone will ask for one thing, you bring that, then they will ask for another. One item at a time. Stresses me out. Makes it difficult for any server to keep up with all tables then. I actually had one table asked me for ten different items, as I brought out each prior request. Personally wanted to scream.

Desserts. Believe it or not, it is 99% mandated that your server ask you about them. What sucks about this, we don't care if you have dessert or not. Your server, does not care if you order it.

In the alley, as we call the area we run around in, we have running side work. Things we must do, such as bake bread, stock ice, fill dressings and bring up plates. Good luck on that happening. Servers are divided up. Fifty percent lazy, Fifty percent hard working.

The slower the night, the less that gets done. Never understood that. Probably never will.

Tomorrow I will return to my regularly scheduled bitching and tell you about how lazy some servers can be. Maybe a list of 10 ways you can tell you have a bad co-worker. That sounds more fun to me. But I have such a huge list. I will need to narrow it down. So stay tuned.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Pride and Prejudice

Not many people can actually say that they love their job. I can. I take pride in my work. I take pride in the fact that I can make someone at my table leave with a smile on their face. I crack jokes, bring refills, smile and chit chat. Sure that is not ALL that I do, but still I love my job. I love people. What I hate are assholes. Below are my qualifications for being an Asshole.

You might be an asshole if....

1.) pull a piece of your hair out after you have finished your meal and put it on your plate. Then you complain about it. (Yes this happened tonight.)

2.) are an Arabic person, who sneers at your server, run her ragged, spend $200 and leave $10. (This too happened tonight. If you don't like Americans, but you hate your country too. Don't fucking come to America dumb ass!)

3.) you try to convert me to your religion, thinking that I do not have any because I work at night. (Another incident. I believe in God. I believe in speaking of Him freely or any religion you believe. But when I am working, I do NOT have time for a 15 minute discussion on why I work Sundays.)

4.) let your children run rampant, nearly knocking down servers who are carrying food over 180 degrees. (Your children will get burnt, someones dinner will be ruined, a server could get injured and then there will be a pissed off cook. Children need to be taught proper public behavior.)

5.) your bill equals $74, you have a gift card for $40 and only tip on the $34 you spent of your "own" money. (The bill prior to gift cards is what you tip on you ignorant ass. Yes, this happens "all" the time.)

6.) you are set in the back, then shout at your server of the injustice of being sat there, saying it is because you are black. Then telling said server that you are personally offended. (I know that prejudice still reigns. I am NO fool. But, don't take it out on your server. She didn't seat you. Everyone has to sit in the back at some point. It is not a bus you have been assigned to seat at on a permanent basis. Grow up!)

What inspired this little rant was Asshole avoidance number 2. Prejudice. Prejudging. Things like this are common in the restaurant world. Servers will often prejudge their tables. I personally work with one man (and I use that term loosely) who does it to every table in his section. At the place I work at, servers are set up as teams. There are two servers for each section. If you are his partner, you know you are going to make money. He will judge a table before it sits down, and if he thinks they are cheap, he will pass it on to his partner. I think he is a judgmental Asshole. The worst kind.

I am probably the least racist person you will ever have the chance to meet. I think if there wasn't a purpose to all of us being different colors and races, then we would be the same. Hell we all come out of a woman the same way, as well as being made the same way. So when I have a table of someone who is a different race then myself, I tend to give them special treatment. My way of showing that just because you have had shitty service in the past from former servers. You're not going to get it from me. That is the way of things. Some servers will just go through the motions, barely a smile, if your lucky a refill in under three minutes and a friendly hello. That truly depends on how long a server has served. The older the server, the most likely for prejudgement.

So tonight, with the guests from #2, I went above and beyond. I even held their adorable little baby boy for awhile, so the mother could eat. He was fussy, yet too cute and for some unexplainable reason, babies love me. He giggled and smiled and the mother was able to finish her meal. The above mentioned was my thanks. Maybe I should be grateful there was a tip at all. The man who paid sneered at me the whole time. Oh well, too bad for him. He got great service, his wife got to enjoy at least part of her meal and the baby giggled. He just needs to go back to his country if he dislikes Americans so much. Better yet, he needs to go through a drive thru and order his food, take it home and sneer at the television in private.

See I dislike reverse racists, as I call them, just as much as I dislike whites being judgmental.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Welcome to the Candy Shop! No, not really, but that is what it feels like sometimes in the restaurant industry. Personally, if you need it for medicinal purposes, go for it. If you are using it to get high, well like the title says "Stupid is as stupid does."

You can divide up the employees in percentages. 60% do drugs, 20% sell and do drugs and the other 20% are actually people who love the restaurant industry. It is nothing to come into work and see co-workers strung out. Alas, not everyone can tell. Some people are so adept at hiding it, you as a guest would never be able to tell.

Example: There is one girl at my work in particular. When you see her at your table, she is kind, friendly, bubbly and very adept. But when she comes in the in door, look out. She is so wound up so tight, I do believe her head will pop off one day. I am serious. At first glance, she is sweet and considerate, but after you work with her for a week, you want to strangle her. Literally. God forbid you tick her off. Once she is pissed, she doesn't shut up. I had to work with her one night that someone, early in the shift, made her mad. She in turn, drove the rest of us crazy. She ranted and raved to everyone that would listen in earshot. If there wasn't anyone, she would constantly talk to herself. She reminds me of one those old fashioned wind up toys. (See picture above) Except all you have to do to wind her up, is push her buttons the wrong way. She is a prime example of someone who needs to lay off the uppers.
Personally, if I am going to be stuck with someone doing drugs, I would rather work with the potheads. All they do is loaf off and nibble on every single thing they can get their hands on. They only make me want to choke them on the weekends. Those are the days when doing side work is most important. They will take the last knife and instead of getting more, they will stand around and talk. Standing pretty much everyplace you need to walk in.
Just to let you know, not all of them do illegal drugs. Some of them drink. Life is always interesting in a restaurant. Basically, I work in a three ring circus. I can only thank the stars that I am not the Ringmaster.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

My Brain Ran Away!

So I have been having a bit of a writer's block. I was talking to a friend of mine online and my brain decided to go drinking with hers. The brain's got drunk and had some fun, while I have been wandering around trying to locate where they were drinking. The brains returned home totally intoxicated. Mine is officially sobered up.

I worked on tonight. I really thought we would be dead. As in, no business. I was surprised to see so many dining out on a family holiday. Most servers dread working a holiday. It really is a toss up. Either you are busy as hell and short staffed to boot or dead and bored out of your mind. Working a holiday usually sucks no matter what you do. I personally dread working them. Don't get me wrong. I tend to make better money on a holiday. I just for one time would like to spend it with my children. The youngest doesn't understand. The middle one says he does, but I can tell I disappoint him. The oldest is resigned to it.

Tonight was basically couples night. Maybe they don't have family in the area. I seen a few families, but not many. Maybe it is me, but when I was growing up. The 4th of July was cookout central and firework frenzy day. Every kid in the family was excited to be a part of it.

Not dogging the staying open on a holiday. It comes with the territory of working in a restaurant. Just wondering why we are such a fast paced society anymore that we HAVE to stay open. Somethings were just better the old way. Family days and holidays go hand in hand. Probably wouldn't complain so much if I wasn't a single mother, never mind. I complain a bunch so probably would anyway.

Hope everyone had a Happy Holiday! I promise to write more often.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Hell's Kitchen!

Today was a double in Hell's Kitchen. It wasn't due to bad guests, mean management or lazy co-workers. Nope, it was due to no air conditioning. The entire restaurant was steaming hot. I do believe we had the same temperature on the inside of the restaurant as we did outside of it.

First of all, servers don't get to sit down. At least not that often. We are constantly running around in circles. Going in the in door, running right out the out door. We are spoiled by air conditioning. When we see guests sitting at their tables saying they are cold, we are jealous. I go home every night sticky, not only from whatever disgusting thing that gets spilled on me or that I spill on myself. From sweat. Some women say, " I don't sweat, I glisten." Yeah, right. Whatever. That is my response. I melt like an ice cube put in a cup of hot coffee. You would think that with all the melting I do on a regular basis, my ass would melt off. No such luck. I think it retains more water then the Mississippi river. They say the body is 70 percent water. Well if that is true, I need to find a special device that will drain it out of me. Oh wait... The Air Conditioner broke. I think I am down to 50 percent water retention.

So tension is high, guests are complaining, workers are flat out bitching. It was a 12 hour shift in Hell! God I love my job!! I have to keep telling myself that. I really do. I am just spoiled. I don't think I can complain about tipping or manners for awhile. I will be to busy being thankful for the air conditioner.

Despite the heat, guests were most definitely considerate. Employee's were taking turns running to stand in the freezer for two minutes. We do bathroom checks, to constantly make sure it is clean. Everyone was trying to take the turn. The bathroom air conditioner still was working. Too bad I didn't have a table with a shitty attitude. For once they might have been glad to dine in the restroom if I had offered. LOL

Sunday, June 17, 2007

What's Wrong For Dinner

I know I have written previously about dining etiquette. It is just a huge pet peeve of mine. Several things happened this weekend that I just felt the compelling need to voice my opinion over. So instead of straight bitching, which is my norm, I have decided to make a list of Dining Do's and Do Not's.

I will start with the Do Not's. For they are usually more interesting.

Do Not!!

1. Yell at someone who is not your server "Hey! Hey You! I want my check now dammit!" (Servers do not close out other tables. If I didn't wait on you, and you want your check, please ask me politely to get your server.)

2. When your steak is prepared wrong and needs to be refired and brought up to temperature, do not write a note saying, "Because my steak is cooked wrong, you get no tip!" (Yes, this happened tonight. Not to me. Your server does not cook your food. That would be the "Cook". If the only thing that went wrong with your dining experience was the temperature of your steak. Don't take it out on your server. She or he did nothing wrong.)

3. If you spend $113.00 on a meal, do NOT give your server $120.00 and tell her to keep the change and that she did an excellent job. (This makes you look like an Ass. A cheap one at that. I will say it again. If you cannot afford to tip correctly, Mc Donald's will happily take your money.)

4. If you come into a restaurant and are told there will be a 45 minute wait. Do not start bitching at the hostess 30 minutes later. Forty-five minutes is fifteen minutes away. (The hostess can not seat you, no matter how much you wish to be seated, if there isn't a table to dine at, unless of course you would like to eat in the bathroom on the toilet. I am sure we can find you seats in there for your trashy attitude.)

5. Do Not ask for half sweet tea and half regular. (That makes you look too damn lazy to add sugar to your tea. If you want sweet tea order it. You are making your server take two trips for each of your refills. This too makes you look like an Ass.)

6. Half Diet and half regular Coke. ( Get a clue, you are not saving any calories this way. Just pick a damn drink.)

7. Don't just leave fifty cents on the table, because you spent too much to tip or are just too cheap. (This is an insult. Do you like to be insulted? I don't think so. When you do that, all we really want to do is chase you out the door and throw the money at your cheap ass head.)

8. Do not, while speaking a foreign language, take pictures of your servers breasts then tell jokes in your home language. (This actually happened. Personally if I was management, I would have asked them to leave. If I was the server, they would have been wearing their food.)

9. Do not act like your server is an inconvenience. (If you didn't want someone to wait on you, why are you at a sit down restaurant. There are millions of crappy buffets everywhere. )

10. Do not knocked 70 freshly rolled silverware set-ups out of a servers hand and onto the floor then stand there laughing and pointing at said server. (Rolling silverware is a bitch. That silverware you just knocked out of his/her hand has to now be washed again twice, separated and polished, then rolled again. You just made that person have to stay at least another half an hour longer at work. It is not funny.)

Those are just some of the "Fun" things that happened this weekend alone. Now for the Do's

1. Manners! The words are Please, Thank You, Your Welcome, May I? and Would you mind? (Whether we mind or not is not the point, it is our job we will get it for you. Though we would rather do it happily. Manners used are manners given.)

2. Do write nice things. (Believe it or not, even a thank you written on the receipt will make your server smile. It is thoughtful and not in the least bit old fashioned.)

3. Do try to keep your child's mess contained. (We as servers understand that children are messy. But mashed potatoes smeared on the wall is uncalled for at all times.)

4. Do try to hold at least a three minute conversation with your server. (Don't keep them long. But this shows them that you think they are human. You might get a witty conversation and better service. We like to build regular guests that are just our own. I have made many a good friend this way.)

5. Do let your child have something other then water to drink. Even if it is just milk. (Dining out should be a treat to children. They sit there and get antsy. Letting them have something other then water makes it a more special occasion.)

6. Do give compliments. Genuine ones. (Stopping the manager and telling him you had a great experience helps to brighten his mood as well as your servers. Serving is highly stressful, a compliment is another smile given.)

7. Enjoy yourself. Laugh and have fun! Dining out should be fun not a hassle.

8. If you are going to go outside and have a cigarette. Let your server know. (That way we can insure that your table doesn't get bussed.)

9. Do ask for anything extra you require at the same time. (Asking your server for extra stuff, every time she brings the last item you requested is annoying and rude. In having us make ten trips for ten different items, you have then made us fall behind with the other four tables we are waiting on. In turn, not only inconveniencing your server, but your fellow dining guests as well.)

10. Tip accordingly. Fifteen percent is standard. Twenty percent is preferred. If you Tip less then ten percent, that is offensive.

Those are just my top ten. Believe me when I say I have more pet peeves. Most of them have to do with co-workers. But I will leave that for another time.

Happy Dining and Blogging to you!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

On The Way To The Mechanics(Revisited)

I have had the last few days off and therefore not had anything new to write about, so I decided to share an older post or two. Since they make more sense when they are paired. The second part is right under the first. Enjoy!

Just to give you an idea before you get to reading. This blog is about my day before I went to work. The next blog I write will be about my night at work.

As those of you who have been reading my daily blogs know, my car broke down. Again. SO..I got up and was planning to go to the mechanic, since my dad and I had done the previous work on the car together and we were at our wits end. Since I am new to Florida, I got directions from my dad who, by the way, has lived here for 9 years. What does he do? Gives me wrong ones. It's okay, I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is the fact that I turned around and was heading the right direction and the car dies in the middle of the busiest street. And do you think anyone would stop and say hey.. would you like help pushing the car out of the way. I mean I was blocking one hell of a busy ass intersection. But NOOOO.. I get stupid asses yelling out the window to fucking move my car. I would like to post this next question just for them "Want to tell me how the hell I am supposed to push a huge car across a busy intersection, with a four year old in the car and steer the damn thing at the same time, by myself?" If you can give me a logical solution then I will retract my former statement of calling you a stupid ass. But until that day comes, stupid ass is your nickname.

Finally a motorcycle policeman comes to help, he calls a police car and they drive push me to a gas station. Where luckily through the kindness of a stranger, I get the car jumped. Now the car is running and I have proper directions. So I go to PEP Boys (who by the way SUCK!!!) And low and behold what do they tell me?? We can't work on your car, it is too old. We only work on newer cars here. Since when do mechanics have age limits on vehicles? I mean honestly. That is like an 88 year old woman going to the hospital and the doctor says, "I'm sorry ma'am. Your too old. We don't offer medical assistance to people your age." Now if that happened, what good would hospitals be? They wouldn't be any more use to us then a piece of shit mechanic telling someone that their car is too old.

Sooooo .. the car dies yet again at PEP Boys (remember their name and don't take your car there) and would they come out and help. umm no.. the car is too old. I therefore depend on the kindness of yet another stranger. I get the car running again and find a mechanic to look at my car that doesn't discriminate on age. Well he is a moron. I know somethings about cars and what he was telling me wasn't right. I gave up.. I needed to try and get home and get ready for work.

I finally make it home, proceed to get ready for work. Burn myself with my iron. Yep. Have a blister. Call a taxi. Wait for the taxi. Get a phone call from the taxi man asking for directions to my house(doesn't sound like a good taxi man). Wait for the taxi. still wait for the taxi.. i give up.. I cranked up the car and took a chance I could get to work on time. Drove like a mad woman... and yes I was really mad and fed up at that time. I made it to work. Two minutes late.

When I get done writing my next blog, you will find today's positive reinforcement statement there.

Part Two!!


Since the title of this blog is Losers and Winners, I will start with the losers, since I like winners and want to end my posts on a positive note.

Todays featured losers are the 60 dollar check and the 5 dollar tippers. They sit down at your table already mad, because they had to wait. Not understanding that if you get seated to quickly, not only will you get bad service, because your waitress is slammed, but you could also crash the kitchen and then everyone will have to wait for a really long time to get thier food. So just because you have to wait for 10 minutes before you get seated, doesn't mean that the hostess doesn't want to give you a table. Or that we don't want your business. It means we try to run at a steady even pace. That way, when you finally get to sit at the table, you won't have to wait for anything. So don't take it out on your server. This particulair table was pissed off from the get go. I tried to make them smile, I was nothing but friendly, polite and courteous. But they were mad and nothing short of buying thier meal would have made them happy. But since everything was cooked properly, and they never had to ask for a refill. and nothing but thier bad attitude kept them from smiling. They took it out on me. They were rude, inconsiderate and to top it off cheap. I hope you come across this site and read 15 percent minimum is the proper tip you jerk. Also, I am there to take care of your needs, doesn't mean I am there to be treated rudely. I say this, because no matter how much a table ticks me off, I am never rude to them. It is not my nature to treat guests at my place of business as crappy as they treat me. Why not? you ask. Well because my grandmother raised me and she taught me manners. Basically the one thing alot of people lack these days. If you don't know what manners are, I suggest you take your sour ass to the library(if you know what that is) and find a book that will teach you what they are. They are located in the self help section. IF you still can't find find the book to teach you these basic fundimental skills, ask the librarian. She will know where the book you need is located. If you don't know what a librarian is..it is the woman sitting behind the BIG desk with a computer in front of him or her. Okay done talking of ignorant idiots.

Now for the winners of today. Todays featured winners where a young married couple, who teased me that they were just on a date. Too cute. I found out she liked to cook, so I gave her my email and we are going to exchange recipes through email. I just have to say I love friendly people. The true kind that come out to dinner and when you try to talk to them or take thier order and they do not act as if you are an inconvience because you need to speak to them. So I must give this particular table a 5 star rating. As well as many thank you's for being so nice.

Now for today's positive reinforcment statement...

"Friendliness... It's not just an act..it can be genuine too."

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Up for Management

I am not ashamed for what I am about to say. I am pissed off and I want the world to know exactly what corporate thinks is "Management Material."

I work with a lot of people younger then me. It is a fact that at least fifty percent of the servers are working their way through college. I think that is great. What I can not abide is lazy people. I had to miss work yesterday due to the same lack of child care issues. So I was lucky enough to pull a double. In the process someone asked me to take their closing shift. I, grateful for the extra money, took the offer. So I ended up working from the time we opened, which was 11 a.m. until the time we closed which was 11 p.m. without a break. That doesn't count the extra hour after we closed for clean up. Again, I chose this path. What I did not chose, was to close with a lazy asshole. He is 25, thinks he is God's Gift to women, rude, not a team player and LAZY. This boy, and yes I said boy, is up for management. I asked to do the easy closing shift, because I was so tired and hurting badly. He refused to switch me, even though the manager had already given it to me. Instead of helping and being a team player, he sat his ass on the counter of the sink for 30 minutes, and did NOTHING. If that was not enough laziness, he sat at a booth for 15 minuted talking to another co-worker who was already done for the night. To make him look even better (sarcasm intended) he took no less then three cigarette breaks.

Now for some lead up work. For those of you that do not know, servers are allotted sections. We are assigned certain tables, those alone are ours. One of the other closers took one of my tables by mistake, no problem, she gave me one of hers to compensate. Then she suggested that we take turns. I didn't mind. I was wanting to get out of there so taking turns would enable me to get more work done. Bad Idea!!! She stopped taking her turn and wanted to give one of my tables to the lazy ass. I said no, it is my table you can have it or I will take it. She said, "It is his turn please let him have it." She did not like my response of, "Hell no I am not going to give that lazy asshole one of my tables." She then started in on begging me, saying I shouldn't be that way. Why the hell not? I was working like a mad woman. I was and am so exhausted I can barely walk and he wouldn't so much as follow me with a tea pitcher when my hands were full to save me two trips back to the kitchen. Hell no I am not going to give a moocher one of my tables. I, of course, have a mouth on me and told him what I thought about him being a "team player." He responded, "I am looking after my tables and I am not going to help anyone I don't have too." Followed by him leaning against the counter doing nothing. My response was, "Sorry, I should have known better then to ask the laziest person in the store, that doesn't care about anyone but himself, for help." That just pissed him off further. Ask me if I care? NOPE!! He said, "Well if I asked for as much help as you.... " I didn't allow him to finish. I was so mad I don't remember exactly what I said to him. Either way, I seriously doubt I made a friend tonight. Again, I don't care!

I transferred from a store in Indiana to a store in Florida. I opened to brand new franchises. Where I instilled team work policies with each opening. Even something as simple as a follow can enhance a guests dining experience. Everyone I worked with previously was a team player. Things at my old restaurant ran smoothly. Here, no one gives a damn about anyone, but themselves. Then management wonders why guests are complaining more and the business is lagging. DUH! Lazy people!

The highlight of the night was the girl closer clocking out and refusing to take more tables before we officially closed and him rejecting a table because the guests were black. That just pissed me off so bad that I went to management. I am not a tattle tale. But racism is a very, very, very big NO NO to me. I hate it. I hate any stupidity that allows it to continue. Whether it is sexual or color based. Racism is NOT ignorance. It is a lack of intelligence called STUPIDITY! There is no cure. The only thing that will stop it, is the next generation. We have to raise our children better, they are the future. When I am eighty I want to know my children will have changed this world for the better, if by nothing else then, not being racist!

I went way off base, but I don't care. Just thought I would introduce what some companies considered "Proper Management Material!" Sucks doesn't it?

Here is today's positive reinforcement statement.

"Be positive, be truthful, be kind, be loving, be fair, be helpful and many more things.. but most importantly be yourself."

I know that has nothing to do with the post, but I am still too pissed off to think of something better. I will do better next time. I promise!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Proper Behaviour

I know I have touched base on this subject more then once, but some things in my opinion, need repeating.

I am not only referring to please and thank you, but as for personal behaviour and the behaviour of your children. I saw children today, that if they had been my own, we would have been taking a walk to the bathroom. And they would not have be using the potty. One child, in particular, controlled the whole table. No one could do anything without consulting the child's opinion. She was four. These parents need to get a clue. I am all for raising children to be independent and self reliant, but when your child controls you? Not a good thing. These parents need to realize that when this girl grows up to be a teenager, all hell will break lose. Then they are going to be standing around whining to their friends about, "I don't know where I went wrong." Being a parent is more then about being a friend. You have to be the adult and act like it. Sucks I know, but unless you want to contribute to a world that already has good declining and bad gaining, you and everyone else needs to gain control of our children.

I read on another blog about one of these days the good people of the world were going to finally get fed up and kick butt. Eliminating the bad. Sad to say that if the good did try to disperse with the bad, I believe that some of the so called "Good" people could possibly end up corrupt. There for bringing us right back to where we began. But I have left the original subject. Sorry about that. Tend to ramble when trying to get my meaning across.

Back to my main point, children need to be children. And though they should be the center of your world, they shouldn't rule it. Pass the word.

"Children.... worth more then the world, just don't let them rule it yet."