Adventures In Waitressing

Wrecked Wednesday

2010-09-15T21:21:00.002-04:00

Not sure if some of you have heard of this or not, but some restaurants do their best to help out charities and such. Our particular store calls them Dining to Donates. Basically, people bring in flyer's and give them to their server and a percentage of their bill automatically goes to the charity we are sponsoring at that moment. In order to be sponsored you have to have a legitimate charity and fill out the paperwork required. Then you set a date and spread the word. The better you spread the word, the more money for your charity. Sounds good doesn't it?

Usually it is, but tonight was an exception. There were waaaay too many servers on the floor. Crappy people who were not part of the charity dining, and tables running about one an hour. Pretty much made my babysitters money tonight and now I am happy that I brought in my laptop. Since I am moving soon, there is no Internet at the house. Pretty much, not much at the house, that is useful anyway.

What sucks the most is that my two highest checks were both my worst tippers. With the exception of a young couple who acted like they were going to tip me, then left me nothing. I just don't understand people. If you offer to take all of your friends out and proceed to act like a hot shot, "Don't just fucking act like one!!! BE ONE!!" I swear if any of my friends took me and other out to dinner and said "My treat!" They better tip the right percentage too. Nothing says "I'm a GIANT asshole!" like picking up the entire check and then fucking over the server. Personally, we as servers would rather there be individual checks. I guarantee you that at least one of your friends know how to tip far better then you, the so-called big shot. To all of those that do the above mentioned, get a job in the serving industry. Even part time. Just for a month. I dare you!! Doubt you could handle it.

I am really trying to think of something positive to say right now, but the only thing I can think of that makes me smile is the fact that I know my children will NOT be working in the service industry. And that they will still know more about tipping then at least half of the people I wait on.

Sorry, just flat out pissed off tonight. Hope your evening was better then mine.

Avoiding The Issue?

2010-09-08T02:19:00.002-04:00

What issue? You may ask of me. Well the issue of whether or not to come here and bitch. I read some of my stuff and then I thought. "Man, I'm a grouchy Bitch!" And no wonder. I hate the restaurant I am working at now. Everyone keeps saying there is money there and when Christmas season comes things will change. Screw that!!! Seriously! I am so tired of "I don't know why we aren't busy shit." I am tired of going in there and being put into first to go sections. Others beg to go home and get better sections then me. Yet I have to continually ask to bump up. To top it off, I am still one of the top sellers. We are having a contest now. Whoever wins will get an IPOD. I am trying like hell to win it so the IPOD will become a Christmas gift. I am beating everyone and yet still, I have to repeatedly ask to be bumped up the crappy totem pole.

Now I know I am not the only person who needs money. I know I am not perfect and that though I try my service isn't always on the grand scale of things. But one of, if not two of the people who continually close, pisses me off. Not by what they do or say, but by the fact that they SUCK!!!!! Not at a person. Sad to say, I actually like one of them. But they get just a bit busy and never come into the back to check on food or even to get refills it seems. One time I was rolling silverware and timed this one person. They never came back there during my 20 minute time keeping. That is ridiculous. They didn't run a single piece of their food. Others who were off the clock kept jumping in to help and I just wanted to scream at them. Not because they were being team players. But because they were doing work for someone, who when I checked, was sitting on their ass talking to a table.

I mean come on? Really? I have tables that I love to talk to, but I also know how to excuse myself and do my job at the same time. Maybe if the world was fair. Ahhh, but it isn't, is it?

Why I Am Still A Waitress

2010-07-18T21:07:00.003-04:00

Every day is different, yet every day seems to be the same. Though I have training to do other things in my life, I find myself continuing to serve. People have asked me why? I will admit when the money is good, it is real good. I will also admit when the money is bad, it is REAL bad. Yet I waited on a couple of tables yesterday that made me want to quit, then just when I was ready to literally walk out the door and tell my place of employment to bite the big one. I waited on a table that made my day. Now don't go thinking that they gave me a huge tip and all that jazz. They didn't. They left what they should have. It wasn't about the money. It was the fact that they were friendly, funny, considerate and just a down right pleasure to wait on.

I was getting my butt kicked. I was super busy. I had a party of six that ate a lot and especially drank a lot. They ran me ragged while I waited on other tables as well. They ran their bill up to $160.68. Oh, they hardly spoke English either. I earned a wonderful (sarcasm intended) $5 off of them. After I tipped $1.61 to the bar and $2.40 to the hosts, I made a whopping $1.00. Making my hourly pay rate $3.13 an hour. Now before you get all hostile and think I am racist. I am not! In fact, I know how certain races are treated when they go out in public, and since I am NOT racist. I go out of my way to make sure that they have an excellent experience. I have done my job for 9 years now. I know how the system works. But it never ceases to amaze me when I am tipped poorly for good work. I mean it is 2010, is it not? You would think with all of the technology that the smart people would out weigh the stupid ones. It is actually the opposite.

Anyways, I was livid. Seriously. At one point I was in tears in the back. I really need money badly. School is about to start and I have rent due. And even more things like groceries and what not. Have you fed a teenager lately? I swear half of my income goes in his stomach. But I digress. Thanks to the next table, who liked to talk and share a joke or two. I remembered why I do the job that I do. To meet people and make them smile. It's a side effect I like to think I have a monopoly on.

Working With Idiots!

2010-07-13T14:14:00.002-04:00

Now I am not saying that everyone that I work with is an idiot. Not at all. I am sure every one of you, no matter what job you hold, has at least one person there that thinks they are the best. You know the one that I am referring too. They turn up their nose at you, give you dirty looks when you say their name to get their attention and when you walk away, talk about you behind your back. Sound familiar now?

In the restaurant business there is always, and I do mean always, more then one. It never fails. Funny thing is, they aren't as good as they think they are, no one is perfect. This particular one drinks all the time and smokes pot. Not to mention whores around, then has the audacity to critique my work. I almost punched them. I am using plural, because some of the people I work with do read my work. Really don't feel like going back to a place filled with animosity. Oh wait! I already do. Anyway, he isn't that great. He would be better if he would quit trying to get into any woman's pants that walks through the door. Including employees. Hell I used to like him until I figured out he wasn't just acting like an asshole, that he actually was one. Another one I work with walks around with such a bitter expression on their face at all times. Sad really. You are never quite sure if something is wrong or if the world is the only thing they hate.

I guess what I am getting at, is that part of the reason I am getting tired of my place of employment, is working with stuck up jerks who have nothing in their life any better then mine. Yet the walk around acting like their shit don't stink when in reality every one's does. Then again, it all goes back to the old saying, if someone dislikes you, they are probably jealous of you or something that you have. Either way, just tired of people and how they portray themselves one way, but are really the opposite. Apparently "All the world is a stage!" is being taken to literally these days.

Fat People AREN'T Jolly!!!

2010-07-06T22:19:00.002-04:00

Seriously! I should know, I am one after all. Don't get me wrong, we have our jolly moments. But the old adage that fat people are jolly is a myth. Fat men are occasionally jolly. Hell, I work with one that is so happy that I sometimes think he is on laughing gas or something else that makes one perpetually happy.

Fat women, on the other hand, are 85% bitchy. Bitchy with a vengeance. I am pretty sure that I can safely speak as a fat woman, that if you are unhappy, FIX IT!!!!

Our society today is so judgemental towards others, not just because of weight issues either. So much for progression. Yet we cease to look at ourselves and see how our judgemental attitude effects, not only ourselves, but others as well. I see plenty of proof every day that I work.

My favorite bitchy fat women are the ones who don't wear make up and dress like they are spring cleaning their houses. They are unhappy with themselves so don't bother to try and make themselves look nicer so they can, in turn, feel better. I know for a fact that it is laziness. Pure and simple fact. I know because I went through that stage in my life. The fat stage that brings you down. It's when you get tired of the stare, the sneers and the horrified expressions. Basically the part when you let the judgement of others bring you down.

It's a difficult stage to go through. You either survive it and bounce back to be a person with more confidence and thicker skin. OR you survive it and let it eat at you. Making you even more unhappy then you previously were. Sad really. More and more are losing the battle, slipping down the abyss and letting it consume them. They no longer strive to look nice, be happy or even bother to be pleasant.

Basically, fat people consume more then food. They consume hatred and allow it to consume them as well. Then instead of trying to change themselves or at the very least, their attitude, they inflict even more hate and disgust back out into the world.

I guess what I am trying to get at, as it pertains to my work, is that I am extremely tired of waiting on unjolly fat people. Even more so, tired of being judged by skinny people that sit at my tables.

My skin is thick, but my tolerance is thinning. Not good in my line of work.

On My Knees!!

2010-06-22T20:35:00.004-04:00

Get your mind out of the gutter. Don't even deny it. You know you went there, didn't ya?

My knees have been bugging me for about a year now. I figure it is because I am not the smallest woman. I have said more then once that I have a fat ass. Well I have fat everywhere, happens when you are overweight. But ten years of working on my feet, my year long pain, has come to a one week climax. And not the good kind either. My left knee has been hurting so bad that walking on it is damn near impossible. Pain pills do NOT help either.

Since I am ever the loyal employee, I haven't missed work despite the never ending pain. As I am working, I limp along, quickly as possible. Smiling at each of my tables and making sure refills are poured. Not to mention every other detail my job requires. I have had a few tables ask me what is wrong. I explain. They proceed to sympathize and leave me $3 on $50. Floors me every time. I have said in the past, if I deserve a bad tip from a table, I will say so. I know when I screw up, slack off or just plain forget. Hey I am human, no where near perfect. But to short tip a person who is in obvious pain, yet made sure your experience was perfect?? Really? Are we as a society that big of assholes?

Beginning to think so.

Teenage Terrors!

2010-06-20T23:54:00.001-04:00

I don't know why I expect teenagers to have been educated on tipping. I guess I still have some childish faith that parents actually educate their children in the way of the world and how it works. Then I remember that the parents are just as dumb in worldly ways. Weekends at the mall are when teenagers abound. Not only in pairs, but in packs. They are like wolves. Horny wolves.

The girls walk around with shorts so far up their butts, that there is no secret as to what is under the denim. If you think that's bad, the boys walk around with their butts literally hanging out of their pants and think that it makes them look cool. Seriously? Haven't any of them seen "Clueless"? Even Cher thought it was tacky. She was a fashion Diva! Not to forget, that movie is over ten years old. If that style was outdated in the movie, what makes anyone think it is fashionable now. As if it ever was to begin with. I shake my head in bewilderment.

So every day and every shift, horny teenagers, trying to impress each other, come into my restaurant. Boys look at the girls and say, "Order what you want." Girls giggle and say, "I'm really not that hungry." Then they order no less then $30.00 worth of food. Receive the bill and freak. Then they pay it with Mommy and Daddy's credit card, steal my pen and run out the damn door. One of these days I am going to snap. I just know it. I am going to think, "Screw this job." Quit and chase the miserable brats out the door. I know I will. I am getting older and my patience is growing thinner. I am beginning to comprehend why old people are bitchy. They are tired of the stupidity too.

I was complaining about how teenagers don't tip to my brother. His daughter, aka my niece was sitting their listening. She said, "Wow. I am going to make sure my friends tip from now on. We never did before." I about died. For Pete's sake, her father is the General Manager of a restaurant. SHE should have always known better. I almost smacked her father. Really I did.

Apparently I have morons in my family and the mall. Go figure.

Phase Me Outta Here!!!!

2010-06-12T21:53:00.000-04:00

So I was re-reading some of my recent work and realized I have been a bit to philosophical. Here I thought I was bitchy and rude and doing my damnedest to get my point across. Pretty sure I was failing. Because I have had and even larger amount of worthless idiots either entering my place of employment or working there themselves. Now I know it doesn't sound nice to bad mouth your co-workers. Really don't care. Not many of them give a shit about me anyways. I know the ones who do versus the ones who don't. Before you judge me, look about at your place of employment and tell me if there isn't someone there you wouldn't like to slap on a daily basis and I will call you a liar.

Today's rant is going back to the same old situation of not phasing or cutting the floor down on servers. Thirteen servers on a Saturday night in the midst of summer is not only too much, but down right stupid. If you don't have any faith in your serving staff, you better hire new ones and squeeze out the worthless ones right away.

We had ten servers on a lunch shift that was so dead I heard a napkin hit the floor. The floor is carpeted. When I asked the manager of the shift if he was considering sending people home soon he replied nonchalantly "Nope." So I asked, "Particular reason why not?" He answered, "So everyone has a chance to make money."

That pissed me off so badly that I wanted to smack him silly. I mean really??!! That doesn't allow for anyone to make money. When the restaurant is like that, people would rather go home then stay there for four hours to make $15. I worked a five hour shift and after tip out I made....drum roll please......$30!!! That doesn't even cover my gas for the week.

So, I knew tonight was going to be pointless. I was in a crappy section, and set to be one of the first to leave. I was fed up and pissed off and had something else I would rather do. So asked if I could have the night off. I might add, different manager this time. She said, "No. We are going to be busy." Well her psychic abilities suck ass, because again we were dead and I got to stay there for... another drum roll if you please....almost 4 hours and make.. $11 dollars!!! If I could, I would call in tomorrow and tell them to go fuck themselves. But I am the type that just has to have another job under her belt first.

Sucks being responsible.

To Date Or Not To Date

2010-06-08T10:53:00.000-04:00

I have been doing some research. Actually I have been doing a lot of research, but alas that is another story for another time. I recently re-entered the dating world. I had no idea how hard it is to meet someone nowadays. It's extremely difficult. Especially if you want to meet someone somewhat normal. If we even know what the true definition of normal is anymore.

So I have been researching how people meet. As a waitress, server, whatever you want to call it, you meet people, new ones everyday. But should you date someone you met at your work? Do you want the person you are just starting to talk to and date to even know where you work? I made a decision and jumped right on in. He has my number and I have his. We have been texting. I must say, as for looks, he is the hottest man I have ever had interested in me. Just hope I am not blind to the safety issues. Even if there are safety issues. Curiosity gets to me sometimes.

Sweet N Low Blow

2010-06-03T13:33:00.000-04:00

I had to do one of the most disgusting jobs a server has to do, the other day. I was encouraged to scrap gum off of the underside of tables. Because even though this is the year 2010, people are still tacky and nasty. One creative person used a package of Sweet N Low for his/her gum. Then stuck the gum to the table. Let me say that was sooooo much fun to remove. Nothing like having white powder flying everywhere. Looked like cocaine floating in the air. Like when you see it on one of the CSI shows.

Here were are in the years of technology and we have lost the ability to use a paper napkin??? Seriously. I manage to catch my 7 year old all the time trying to use his pants. Drives me absolutely bonkers, especially since there is a napkin right next to his plate. I am pretty sure his mess hands were right by the plate when he was reaching for his food. Have napkins become taboo? I ask this, because every meal I say "Use your napkin please." Every meal, he tries to sneak and use his pants. Is it a boy thing? Is my son brain damaged? Or are we as technology gets advanced, regressing?

To quote a famous commercial. "The world may never know."

Summertime Blues

2010-05-25T00:16:00.000-04:00

There ain't no cure! Just to quote a famous song and a remake of a famous song. Because with the limitless knowledge and floundering writers out there, remakes of previous hit songs are what we desire. Since when did humans crave monotony?

Seriously though, I forget why I whine, bitch and moan that summer isn't here. I forget that when that lovely weather appears, my money disappears. Not to mention I get that wonderful summer itch and I don't want to be at work at all. That isn't any good. I mean if I leave work and the customers aren't going there either, hum where's the money? Somebody show it to me please! Not joking. I am pretty sure I am going to have to get yet another job for the summer. So much for taking the kids to a theme park if I do that.

That is the down thing about being a server. It is so hit or miss. There are days that $2.13 is actually all you make. By the time Uncle Sam gets done with that, you are in the negative. Besides that fact that if you don't see a paycheck and you don't see any guests, you might see an eviction notice. Very bad combination indeed.

Sorry a bit dreary today. I am missing Florida and the fact that I have a couple of days off coming up and I would REALLY love to go to the beach. But can't afford the gas for the 13 hour drive. Oops! Such is life at times. Who knows? We might actually have people come in out of the heat for lunch tomorrow. Hey, an adventuring waitress can dream ya know!

Back To The Grindstone

2010-05-17T10:07:00.000-04:00

And I don't mean Charlie's. Hopefully you all have heard of Grindstone Charlie's and will get that joke. No, I don't work there. I just thought it was funny when I wrote it, but I guess it isn't funny if you have to explain it. There I go a rambling....

I am out of the sick bed and back to work. I admit it was nice to sleep for practically three days straight, it was however not pleasant to be sick while doing it. It ended up that I had strep throat. Thanks to anti-biotic's, rest and a wonderful co-worker, I am back on my feet again. Literally.

Sickness in the food industry is dangerous. We as servers and cooks can really have an effect on whether or not you get sick. Now I am not trying to imply that we will intentionally get you sick. No, only vile and disgusting servers, who in my opinion should not be serving, will intentionally make you ill. I am referring to the fact that we handle the food. All of it. From your lemon in that water we hate to see, to the cheese that is sprinkled so nicely on your salad. Personally, I wash my hands so many times a day, that sometimes I wonder how I have any skin left on them.

The real kicker I have found is that when an employee is sick, the management practically begs them to come to work. I have seen managers let extremely ill people, hoped up on medication like Zicam and Sucrets work. Oh, you wouldn't know it. They can look so fun and lively at your table, but in the back they are whining and complaining that they are sick. I will let you in on a little secret. Managers are chickens. Look under their uniforms and you will see feathers. Not kidding. They are so afraid to run with a shorter staff of servers. So afraid that the store will fill up and that the servers heads will spin like tops, that they will run with three people more then they need to avoid actually having to help out. If you doubt me in anyway. Ask a server sometime. Any server. Say, "Hey, does your manager ever have too many servers on the floor at a time?" First off, you will shock the server, second they will recover long enough to answer, "Unfortunately all the time."

Sad part is, why the manager gets a guaranteed paid amount, it effects the server directly. Got to go, I do believe I just heard clucking.

Down With The Sickness

2010-05-10T23:14:00.000-04:00

Just as I finally decide to get back into the swing of things, I get sick. Since my other blog is titled The Real Life Drama Queen. I can't get a normal sniffles kind of sick either. Nope. I thought I had strep throat. Usually puts me at the hospital for at least one overnight visit. Not this time. I have been downgraded to Mono. Um, new one for me. Never had that before.

If I am feeling better soon, I have plenty of things to write about. Just won't be anything recent. Probably a good thing. My sarcastic side has been running rampant. Has me thinking I am not as funny as I think I am. I think I am going to blame it on the sickness. Why? Because I can of course.

Pretty cocky for a sick woman, huh?

Things That Make You Go Hummm?

2010-05-09T00:33:00.000-04:00

I guess this could be considered another story about proper table manners. Not the sit up straight, tuck in your shirt and wear a tie kind either. I don't work in an upscale, kiss your ass, kind of restaurant. I work in a family one. Well, that is what they tell the public, while they are trying to turn the bar into an actual party environment at night. Not happening, by the way.

I am referring to the type of table manners you should expect from, at the very least, your 8 year old. You know what I am talking about, common sense. The I wasn't raised up on a mountain, with no human contact, no electricity, animals were my only friends and I ain't got no manners kind. I am referring to the examples you will find below.

1. Let's go out to lunch with the girls, shall we? Great! Now let's kick off our smelly shoes after walking around the mall all blasted day, shopping. Better yet, I am going to put them on the seat opposite of me, so my friend, can have the joy of smelling them as she tries to eat her lunch. (I don't care. Cute pedicure or not! You are not at home. Feet at the dinner table in public is nasty! Nasty! Nasty!

2. Blowing your nose at the table just screams, too lazy to go to the bathroom. It also screams DISGUSTING!!!! If I was the one dining with you, I would go to my server, give her a huge tip, then leave your fowl ass alone and go somewhere else to look for company that didn't make me want to vomit!

3. Changing your child's dirty diaper at the table. Now I know you are shaking your head in complete amazement, but yes, I have witnessed this happening. I want to thank that woman for not only changing the diaper at the table, but for leaving the dirty one as part of my tip. Really, I was touched and touching your child's feces laden diaper was the best tip ever!! NOT! Sarcasm was intended.

4. Oh look, there's a ramp! Obviously meant for your children to run up and down it unattended, not only disturbing other guests, but also getting in way of people who are trying to work. It wasn't really intended for the elderly or the handicapped. Nope, it's a secret playground.

5. Please litter, make a mess, whatever you wish to call it. Please, please do it. No, not on the outside. Please do it at your table. As in let everything you can find, from either your purse, pockets or food, hit the floor. I mean you don't have to crawl under the table and pick up disgusting stuff with YOUR hands. We the servers do. At a great discount of only $2.13 an hour. What a bargain!!

6. Please ignore, snarl, cuss, curl up your nose, sigh, yell and basically just treat your server like crap. I mean, common courtesy is just a Greek myth, right?

7. How about throwing a fit because gratuity was added to your large party. This one is my favorite. I call it "Just desserts." The sign states that gratuity will be added to large parties, then when the table gets the check and actually has to tip the proper amount. They are astounded by how much the tip is on the bill. They have anxiety attacks. Usually people who have never tipped accurately in their lives are the biggest cry babies.

8. This one was a first for me. It didn't happen to me personally, but I did get to witness the event. When a host/hostess asked if you or if everyone in your party is over the age of 21, it is for a reason. The bar area can be the hardest to seat. People either think we are going to hold their head under the beer tap and make them chug or that smoking is still allowed in the restaurant. It is also because you have to be 21 to sit in the bar area. But dammit woman, be flattered we thought you were under 21. On day you will be old and wrinkled and bitching no one cards you anymore. It certainly wasn't worth complaining to the management.

9. Another of my favorites is the overly loud, ghetto talking, Jerry Springer show wannabe! You know the woman I mean. You've all seen her at some point and time. She has to either wait to be seated or wait a bit because her server is busy. So instead of being patient she rolls her eyes, gets loud(extremely) and complains that she isn't afraid to break her foot off in someones ass. Way to show your children proper public behaviour and how to not have respect for themselves or others.

I am sure I could sit here and think of a hundred more, but what's the fun in telling all of my stories at once. Wink! Wink!

Ten Things That Embarrased Me Most

2010-05-05T19:43:00.000-04:00

So I was doing my normal pondering as to what to write about and decided to tell you about some embarrassing things that have happened to me while serving. Believe me when I say, I am not proud to let the world know I have done these things. Some of them were hurtful to my pride, some of them down right hilarious. Either way, I hope that by the time that you get to number ten, that you had at least one laugh.

1. Survey says that the number one embarrassing, and most common thing a server has done is.. Dropped dishes mid dining room. Now I am sure that most of you have been sitting in a dining room and heard dishes break. 90% of the time, they are glasses. But the most embarrassing drops are the ones that happen in the dining area itself. It means you have just postponed someones dinner. Which wouldn't be so bad, but try dropping something breakable in the middle of a packed restaurant sometime and have at least 50 pairs of eyes on you. All of them saying "Ohhhh! Did you seeee that??"

2. Stumbling over words, that should easily come out of ones mouth. Example: (and yes I have said this) "Would you like some spinach and artichoke Dick (dip) before your meal today?" ....Umm yeah.. some ladies really don't like Dick.. ya know what I mean?

3. Another word stumble.. "Would you like some Fire CRAPPER Chicken wraps today?" Considering the proper name is Firecracker. And despite what I had previously called them, they are quite excellent and my favorite appetizer at Longhorn.

4. Stumbling and falling, literally. I was going up the stairs. Only two of them, by the way, and fell, on my knees. Lost all the food, it made a loud crash and naturally the whole restaurant enjoyed the show. Was embarrassing and painful.

5. I used to make balloon animals for children at my tables, when I had a moment. Until I accidentally bought a bad batch of balloons. Nothing like making children cry when they see the doggy or bunny I just made them pop.

6. It's my birthday. Everyone that works there comes out from the back to hand me the dessert. They trap me and sing to me in front of everyone. Which is sweet, but took half the restaurant a few to realize their servers disappeared for another server. OOPS!!

7. Falling into a rather or should I say extremely attractive mans lap. His woman didn't like that, but pretty sure he did. LOL

8. Nothing like walking up to an adorable baby, and saying hello. Only to get a return greeting that is so loud and annoying that it rips through the entire dining area. All eyes move to you. I don't mind being in the spotlight. I just prefer my own terms.

9. How about owing a rather cute pair of underwear? Not bad right? How about they have a sexy, big, pink and blue ribbon that ties in the back? How about you walk around doing your job for no less then two hours before your co-workers get tired of laughing at you? That's when they tell you that your panties are showing. Nice huh?

10. Want one worse? Try wearing a thong to work, your pants rip. You don't know it and you wait on tables all day with your bare ass hanging out. I am still not sure how many people actually saw my butt that day.

All of the above happened to me. Be kind to your server. Always remember to let her know that her panties or butt is showing. Because her co-workers sure won't.

No Excuses!!!

2010-04-29T14:41:00.000-04:00

I make no excuses to being away for so long! chalk it up to sheer laziness. Truthfully, I just did not fee like taking additional time from my already hectic day to vent. I should have. I would probably be walking around less stressed, more relaxed and infinitely less bitchy. Oh well, apparently I enjoy self torture. It will explain why I am still serving. Since I am no longer with the previous company, nor am I in the same location, globally. I feel safe in revealing that I worked for Longhorn, in Jacksonville, Florida. Great company. Though I feel it was a better company before they sold out to Dardin.

Something about working for corporate companies, just makes me cringe. You get a bunch of fat cats, in business suits, who never ever in their life had to wait tables, bar tend or even work behind the scenes. Then they come into each of their stores and nit pick like Prima Donna's bitching about how this looks, how that should be moved and the worst is how they tell their managers how dark it should be in the restaurant. Why? Because apparently the darker the better and apparently our more advanced aged guests should bring a flashlight with them in order to read the menu.

The latest corporate sensation (sarcasms intended) that I am working for, it is a family restaurant. Though they do stay open later in the evenings then most. The newest thing to come down from corporate is to basically the bar area into a night club. It is so funny, you almost have to laugh at the tragedy they are putting their employees through.

Seeing as this is Day 1 of my immediate return, I am going to leave off with letting you know that I am creating a Facebook Fan site. So stay tuned. I promise that I am coming back with a vengeance. ;o)

Work Frenzy!!!

2008-03-05T14:01:00.000-05:00

Man I don't think I have ever worked this many days in a row before. I think it has been over a month. I had the opportunity to work again today. I said no this time, but I am wishing I didn't. My body says thank you, but my bank account is screaming, "Stupid Bitch!" Such is the life. I have said before that I love my job, but is it possible to get burnt out on something you enjoy doing? Even if it makes you money? I am thinking it is so. Some morning I have been so exhausted that I didn't even want to get out of bed, but I have too. I have never been on a real vacation. I took a break over Christmas, but that was to visit family, it wasn't a real vacation. SO when my refund comes in this year, I am taking a REAL one. I am just giving you a heads up. This workaholic is going to go to Disney World. Reminds me of those Super Bowl commercials.

"You've just worked six years in a row. What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to Disney World!"

Okay, maybe I sound a bit excited about it, but I live in Florida and I have NEVER been there! I mean come on, I work a lot.

Work has been good for the most part. Business has been a bit slower, but I have made some new regular guests, which I adore. So for the most part, things at work are the same. Same crazy people, same shitty tippers, same rude people and even the same people with screaming kids coming in. Apparently, people like my restaurant.

Have a great week!

I'm Sorry!

2008-02-29T00:30:00.000-05:00

I am so going to be unoriginal here. I will be back tomorrow night. I am sorry for my absence. I have just been working a lot and not in the mood to get on the computer, let alone write.

Hugs to all!

Rude Awakings

2008-02-08T17:30:00.000-05:00

Pretty bad the tree has an attitude too. Think Mother Nature is trying to tell us something?

I just had a really rude experience. The heighth of stupidity in my opinion. These ladies came into the restaurant. Had a cutie of a boy that was a definate handful. When I see parents with unruley children I do my best to entertain them in a way that calms them down. Personally I wouldn't want to be sitting next to a screaming child on my hour long lunch break. I remember working in an office. If I had wanted to listen to whining children then, I would have stayed in the office. The ladies automatically determine that they don't care I have five other tables besides them and demand all of my attention. To complete the round up, they proceed to talk to me as if I am a simplton. Get real. I do have to read and write and have excellent memory skills, as well as consolidation skills, in order to be a server. Multi-tasking is a MUST!

I stand there and politely try to take their order. Patiently even. I can see my other tables out of the corner of my eye. Two of them are looking at me. That means they need something. But for the life of me, I cannot get away from these women. They repeat their order three times. Even after I have repeated it back to them. They want the most annoying time consuming things. Example, one lady wants two drinks, both in to go cups. I mean come on. Have a little faith in your server. They can't always get refills out immediately, but four drinks for two women is rediculous.

After spending damn near six minutes, just taking an order for two.. count em.. two people. Two people who spoke to me like I was stupid and incompetent. I can tell my other tables are exasperated. They were not close enough to hear the conversation. To them, I am sure I appear a chatty Kathy. I promise to be back with all of their requests and head off towards the kitchen to fill such orders. I am walking out of the back, carrying everything. I have no choice. All of the other servers are busy, so unable to help. And these ladies put me so far behind. Just my luck though. To Go glasses do not like to be put on trays. Those damn cups knocked over every single thing I was carrying. I was soaked from my shoulders down. My apron was filled with ice, tea and coke. I almost screamed. Instead, I approached the hostess. I told her to memorize their faces. Because if I ever have to wait on them again I will walk out. Flat. Told my boss that as well. I do demand a certain amount of respect.

The whole restaurant heard the crash. Six glasses, two bread boards and a frustrated growl tends to turn all eyes your way. Yippie!!! Nothing like putting on a show for strangers. It must be what a stripper feels like when her g-string breaks and she full frontal moons everyone. I am sure her tips increase with her accident, where as mine decrease.

Maybe I should wear a breakaway g-string. Nah.. I work in a family restaurant after all.

Double Duty

2008-01-27T15:13:00.000-05:00

I wrote this story once already this week. But thanks to a rather cute kitten, I have had to do a rewrite. She likes to chase the pointer from the mouse around. Not cute when I am just about to post this blog. Hence the dog. I was doing double duty and the cat was double the trouble.

I actually pulled two doubles in a row this week. Tomorrow will be my third. Just call me a sucker for picking up shifts. Doubles aren't so bad, that is, if you make enough money to make it worth your while. Sometimes that is hard. Being a single mom, I try to spend every possible moment with my kids, but the lure of the pick up shifts, snags me almost every single time.

With the exception of a manager who does the emotional flip, things were pretty normal on the shifts. Though I have had the pleasure of making some new regular guests. I love meeting new people, but when you meet a couple that you click with, it makes a long drawn out double worth it. Monday J and S (you know who you are) became my newest regulars. A lively couple to be sure. They have a great sense of humor. Thank God! I can be a character.

Would you like an example of my humor? It almost got me into trouble tonight. I had three handsome men at one of my tables. I had fun talking to them. I was refilling drinks on the table and they were talking about taxes. One of them was telling the other, "Oh, you should be able to deduct your computer, truck....ect."

So I just had to jump in and say, "I will let you deduct some of my stuff for a cut of the profits."

The cowboy responded, "Well, I am afraid the only way I could do that is if you had a saddle on."

My response was, "It's not like I haven't done that before."

First of all, I was totally kidding, but sometimes my mouth shoots off before my brain functions properly. Thankfully, the men knew it was a joke. See what doubles make me do? They make me tired and goofier then normal. Before the night was through I told another table they could spank me. See why my regulars, have to have a great sense of humor?

Idiot Rising

2008-01-22T00:13:00.000-05:00

Just a little advertisement for the people who don't like to tip. Here is a cheap place to go and eat.

But now for the real deal. It is not a good idea to quit smoking, start a diet and pull a double all on the same day. Nope, no way. All my emotions were everywhere. That is scary. I personally like to be in control. Don't like it when I snap at my idiotic co-worker. Even though he deserves it.

Nothing like getting your patience removed during a rush. I work with this one guy. He gets on my nerves so bad. He reminds me of my fourteen year old. Only he is in a twenty something body and is like he had double ADHD of what my teenager has. So basically it is like working with my son, only this guy is annoying and rude. He has no tact whatsoever.

Example: He knows I haven't dated in awhile. He will not hesitate to try to hook me up with a guest. That would not be so bad, with the exception that he acts like a moron. He will say things, in front of the guest mind you, like "You know you need a man to tap that." Yadda Yadda. Rude. He just pushes my buttons completely the wrong way.

So I basically almost punched him today. Thankfully I didn't. But that doesn't mean I didn't want to knock him out anyways. As Forrest's mama always said, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Honestly, I would probably bitch more, but I am too tired. Sad isn't it?

The Serving Game

2008-01-16T00:29:00.000-05:00

I was participating in a game at work today. One I did not wish to play. It is a common game. I am sure most of you know what the game is, but didn't realize it had a name. The game title is "Be My Bitch". Yep you read correctly.

Objectives

1. Ignore your server when she approaches your table. (After all, she is on your dime.)

2. Make sure she stands there at least thirty seconds before you acknowledge her. (Because you are the only table in the restaurant.)

3. When you do speak to her, make sure you don't answer any of her questions. (They were all stupid anyways.)

4. Give her your order in short, precise words, making sure you are extremely rude. (Thinking, "Where do they get these people?")

5. Make sure you order at least one item wrong, that way you can blame the server for your mistake. (Don't forget to yell at your server, about your problem, from across the room.)

6. Every time she brings you something to the table, send her back for other items. (Because ordering Diet and eating three sides of ranch, butter and sour cream is a healthy diet.)

7. If she escapes, make sure to stop her every time she passes your table to complain, whine, bitch and moan. (Because your voice sounds like angels.)

8. Ask for the manager. Make sure you bitch to him as well. After all, we are playing "Be My Bitch." (Be extremely polite and say, "I don't mean to complain...")

9. Just to be super annoying, ask a passing server, "Where the hell is my server? I haven't seen her since I sat down." (Make sure you give an insulting description of your server. It entertains the co-workers.)

10. Turn up your nose at server, because you think she is beneath you, since you probably have a better job. (Which probably requires a lot of sitting. By the way, that explains your Fat Ass.)

And last but not least....

11. Make sure you tip her two dollars on fifty-five. That way she can feel insulted yet again after you leave. (Which is why I think there should be a button titled, Tip Reject. But that is another story.)

Personally I think this game sucks. But it seems to be quite popular. Maybe it is fun for the other person. Too bad I am too nice to play this game huh?

The Best Compliment

2008-01-09T21:53:00.000-05:00

First off, let me apologize for my long absence. Now back to business.

Recently, I had the best compliment paid to me, ever, by a guest. I loved it. Now don't get me wrong, they left me a big, fat tip, but that is not why I was flattered.

"Is your check ready for me to take care of?" I inquire.

"Yes, hon and you can keep the change." is their response.

"Thanks again, now you two have a safe trip to Georgia, got to return home to your little one."

"Oh we plan on it, thanks again for excellent service."

"You are quite welcome, remember when you come back to ask for me."

"Don't worry we will. You are absolutely the nicest server we have ever had, actually too nice, if that is possible. If you are not here when we come back, we are not dining here." they say.

I crack up, blushing if it is possible, "Now don't do that, we have wonderful servers here. Come on in and enjoy your meal whether I am here or not."

General chit chat continues until they leave, but I am serious when I say, that was the best compliment I have ever had. I have had compliments, naturally. But this couple was so cute. I enjoyed waiting on them.

Don't I just wish every table was as pleasing to wait upon.

But that will leave me a story for tomorrow.

I'm back!! Woo Hoo!!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T15:24:00.000-05:00

Hello and long time no see everyone. I have internet access again and my computer is still not fixed. But I am back, at least for today. I left the sunny land of Florida and headed up to Indiana for a small, well earned Christmas vacation with my family. I will officially be back on Monday. See ya all soon.

Dammit!!

2007-12-01T15:14:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks.. it is probably going to be another week before I post.. My computer has been on the blink and I am putting it in the shop. I am praying that it won't take it that long to get fixed.. But I have tons of stories.. so I will just have to write them on paper until I can get back online.. sorry for the delay in posting.

Happy Holidays!!

The Gift of Giving

2007-11-15T09:57:00.000-05:00

In this day and age, you really don't get to witness a term called, "The Kindness of Strangers." But in my line of work it is a real treat when this happens. Even if the kindness is not directed at you. I thought since Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and I still can't believe how this year has flown by, that I would tell you a few unique stories of things I have had the pleasure to witness.

The pain of 9-11 is still in every one's hearts. The days of people seeing a soldier and just walking by him are long gone. Almost every time there is a man in uniform in my restaurant, at least one person approaches his or her table and thanks them for the service they give our country. The soldier, politely, says "Thank you." Sometimes a pleasant conversation is started and you can see some of the ways people call old fashioned, played in action. I love it when a see a soldier approach a veteran and thank them for what they have done for our country in the past. It is the younger generation recognizing the elder population.

A few weeks ago, I was waiting on a table of soldiers. Four men and one woman. I was having blast joking with them and such. A fellow server approached me. They said that their table wanted to talk to me. Finding it a bit odd, I went on over to a table that was not mine. The lady sitting there wanted to purchase the soldiers meal as a Thank You for their service. I was pleasantly surprised and allowed her to do so. I let my guests finish their meal with no clue as to what had happened. When it came time to leave them the check, I let them know that a generous lady had taken care of their entire bill. They all wanted to know who had done such a nice thing. The lady hadn't asked for me to not tell them, so I let them know. Again, thanks and talking was exchanged. Strangers helping strangers. I love seeing that.

Then yesterday, yet another incident happened. Which is what brought this story about. There was a really young couple. I would say easily twenty, twenty-two max. The woman is pregnant. They were just out for a nice lunch. Apparently had errands to run and such. This time a man approached the server of the young couples table. He wanted to buy their meal, and provide the tip. He said he remembered starting off young with little ones. He said, "You can let them know that I want them to save this money for the baby. But don't tell them that it was me." This man didn't know the young couple at all. He was just drawing from his past and decided to help someone out. The young couple naturally wanted to know who was so kind, but alas, we honored the man's request. The were told not to tip. The man took care of that as well. Hopefully that young couple will remember that and pay it forward in their own way in their own time.

I am a firm believer in the Pay It Forward way. I have been helped so many times in my life and when I can I help out others. Just something to think about as the Holiday season is approaching.

Money Confusion

2007-11-10T11:57:00.000-05:00

Basically, a lot of posts have to do with money. Hell, that is what my job is primarily about. Last night I was removed from the floor and put behind the bar. I was not happy about it. I can make better money on the floor on a Friday night. The bar on the weekends has two bartenders and you split everything fifty fifty. Wouldn't be bad, but if one of you sucks, so does the money.

I ended up being the closing bartender, which means the other one gets to leave way early. She said I could keep the tip out from the servers if I took on her work so she could just walk out the door. Naturally, I said yes. We were dead and didn't make anything. Or so I thought.

I don't get it, but I ended up making more money then I thought. Not that I am complaining mind you. It just doesn't feel like I made that much. I really need it for rent, but still, you know that feeling you get when something feels off? I got that feeling. I made the manager double check my cash out and my draw. He swears all was fine. So still in shock, but still feeling odd.

I guess I should chalk it up to total good luck and someone looking out for me. But if you read my other site, then you know that good luck is something that doesn't happen to me. If this keeps up I am going to buy a lottery ticket and see if I can truly get lucky. I will let you know if I win.

Friday Night Fights

2007-11-03T00:51:00.000-04:00

I am pretty sure everyone at sometime has someone that they just have to yell at. Well, unfortunately with my stress level on Friday's, tonight was my night.

I have a type of claustrophobia, not sure exactly what it is called. But if I get surrounded by a large number of people and I can't move, I tend to act rudely. Some call it bitchiness, I call it get the hell out of my way syndrome. I don't like feeling crowded into a corner. Makes me defensive.

Friday and Saturday nights are the worst nights for it. Those are the nights that we have such a huge amount of servers on the floor. The dish pit is the easiest place to get pinned in at. So after about six times getting pinned in a corner, my stress level is at it's max.

Well, someone decided to take the coffee pot out onto the floor, what the didn't bother to do is check to see if the coffee pot was done brewing. Next thing you know there is a huge mess. I was cleaning it up and talking about it to one of the other servers. Basically complaining about someone being stupid. The person returns and we tell him, "Hey, you took the coffee pot before it was done brewing. Duh!" A fourth server decides to get snotty with me, for telling the male server about his mistake. Wasn't a good idea. So I basically told her to butt out, I wasn't talking to her. Like I said, on Friday's, I can be a real bitch. So she decided to call me a Bitch. I don't really care. I am one. Not gonna lie. So we started to get into an argument. She tried to act like she had the right to but into my conversation and I let her know it was none of her business.

Much milder then the fight I got into the other night with "Mr. Know-It-All". You know the one I mentioned in the past. He tried to act all high and mighty with me, like he is Mr. Perfect, when in actuality he is Mr. Suck Up. I pretty much stopped that one before it got out of hand. I just told him to shut the fuck up. My boss was standing there and heard the whole conversation and told him to shut up too. Was rather funny. But so glad I was in the right.

Being a server, you never lack for drama.

Happy Halloween

2007-10-28T01:47:00.000-04:00

Zombies and the walking dead,
Every moment filled with dread.
Vampires come to suck you dry,
Witches with their evil eye.
Creepy creatures 'round each bend.
Will this terror never end?
The shrieking beasts,
The angry mob.....

But enough about my crappy job.

Have a wonderfully Happy Halloween everyone!!!

Saturday's Shitheads

2007-10-21T00:06:00.000-04:00

I just had to give a Shit Head Award. My own creation. You can borrow it if you wish for a shit head that you might know.

Before I tell you about the award winner, I just have to tell you. The shit heads were out in full force. There was almost a tie, then I decided that the second place contender deserved a special trophy. So he will get his on Thursday.

I will say that the guests were rather diverse this evening. I did have some rather delightful people. But the overall majority were just terrible. How can you go out, share a meal, bring your bill to thirty dollars and then tip two dollars? Beats me, but I would love to set up a questionnaire and mail it to people. Seriously.

Tonight's winner asked me why in the hell don't restaurants carry Busch? He got angry that we didn't carry that lower class beer on tap. What the hell? We are an upper class establishment. Not a Honky Tonk bar. He was a redneck through and through. I know about rednecks. My family is all redneck. So don't think I am picking on him just because he is one. Then he had the audacity to tell me that by answering his questions, it wouldn't affect my tip. What an ass. I don't just wait on people for money. I actually care about the service I give. I enjoy my job. His wife ordered two drinks. Alcoholic beverages. She didn't even call the drink by the proper name. The drink was called a Confusion and she kept ordering a Confession. I didn't say anything.

He proceeded to inform me, "I have a few questions for you, and don't think I can't afford to eat here, I can. I also know about steaks, so you can't fool me." WTF?? He was antagonistic from the get go. I NEVER pre-judge my tables, but this one should have been. I said, "Yes, sir. What can I answer for you?" He then asked me why a porterhouse had part New York Strip and part Filet and why the bone was included. Ummm.. Hello?? If you know about steaks a Porterhouse has a bone. It is a New York strip on one side and a full Filet on the other. The bone in the middle adds to the flavor, that is why it is such an expensive steak. Not just because of the size, but because of the quality of the meat. Anyways, I digress. I served them with smiles and friendliness. I treated them the same as I do all of my tables.

Their bill was $77.30. My tip left on the table was $6.00. But after the husband got up, the wife reached over and removed a dollar. Bringing the tip to $5.00. So much for answering the questions not affecting my tip.

So, if you think that is bad, wait until you see the winner on Thursday.

I Have Decided

2007-10-16T23:04:00.000-04:00

Thank you all for you wonderful comments. I guess I am pretty good at bitching LOL.

I decided that on Every Thursday I will do a Thursday's Trophies.. that will be the day I award my personal trophies to the winners and losers of the week. Such as rudest guest, dumbest co-worker.. etc.

Keeping with the Sunday's Sinners.. I will have to say.. I told my boss I would no longer work Sunday's. I usually pull doubles every Sunday. I work my ass off for shitty people and shittier tips. It wasn't just because of that though. I decided that even though I need to work, being a single mother is more important. I decided that I should have at least one day every weekend off. And since I absolutely HATE Sunday's. I told him that is the day I would love to have off every week. But, I am sure I can come up with something for a Sunday's sinners post.

Until next time......

What Do You Prefer?

2007-10-14T00:16:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking. Scary I know. I love this blog. I want to keep it original. Yet, I see so many good ideas out there in bloggerland. I don't want this blog to be just bitching about bad tippers. Though I am sure some of you find me funny sometimes. I also don't want to be repetitious. At least not in a dull redundant sort of way. So I ask you, my avid readers and friends. Do you have an original or fun idea for something I could do on a weekly basis. Something that I would do every week, for fun and entertainment. Trying not to pilfer from others ideas.

Displays of Affection

2007-10-04T23:30:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I think I will run out of things to bitch about, then in walks another clueless set of people.

There is nothing more disgusting, then to bring something to a table and they have their tongues shoved so far down each others throats that you think they are gagging each on purpose. I have literally walked up to a table and seen a man with his hands so far up a woman's skirt you would think he was fishing and lost his damn pole.

I don't mind standard displays of affection, but if you want to get kinky, pick a place that doesn't have children running around in it. I am all for sex education for kids, but I don't think mauling each other in a restaurant is considered sex ed. Pretty sure it is considered tacky. Yep.. Tacky!

Rather like public soft core porn. I don't want to watch it, would rather be participating in my own event. Wonder if servers could give tables awards for how inappropriate guests could be in public. Such as mini Olympics. Gold, Silver and Bronze for how affectionate, how crude, how cheap and how rude. I might have to consider marketing that one.

Sorry Christine, wasn't abducted by Aliens. I usually keep up with my Real Life blog better then this one. If you ever wonder what happened to me, you can fine me here. Thanks for the concern. It is greatly appreciated.

Take Me Out

2007-09-27T09:43:00.000-04:00

Ever go to a nicer restaurant and order take out? I used to only think of take out as Chinese or when my table would order an additional item to take home. Not anymore.

Last night I bar tended. I am the relief bartender. I actually enjoy it more then serving, but don't tell anyone. ;o) Last night I got my ass kicked. Seriously. I appreciate our bartenders more now. No longer will I stand impatiently waiting for a drink. I finally was busy enough when I bar tended to see exactly what they are going through.

Not sure about some places, but in ours, our bartenders not only have the bar, they have four tables and they take care of the take out orders. A lot of work for three dollars an hour. Thankfully, some people tip on take out orders. Which is greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, other do not.

I have been reading up on this subject before I write about it. The general consensus is that 10% is fair and I highly agree with that. There is nothing like being on a roll and dishing out drinks to suddenly stop everything to take a phone call. Rather irritating really. Not that I mind taking the calls, it is that they just seem to arrive at the worst possible times.

My bar was full last night, not a seat empty. My tables were full as well. And at one point I had five take out patrons standing, waiting patiently for me to cash them out and give them their food. I kept my cool, but boy was I ever wanting to be able to stop just for a moment and breathe. Didn't happen.

The funny thing is, I ordered a take out cheesecake for myself. And wouldn't you know it, I didn't tip myself and I forgot the damn thing at work. God's way of telling me my fat ass doesn't need take out I guess.

Thankfully last night all of the take out orders were very patient and nice. So if you can't tip your take out person. At least be nice.

Cell Phone Frenzy

2007-09-20T22:15:00.000-04:00

Basically I haven't had too much to write about, things have been reality normal at work at least.

Though today, there was a high number of cell phone users. Cell phones don't really bother me. Hell I own one. What bothers me is how people go about using them. People are just down right inconsiderate about it.

Several of my tables today, sat down. When I greeted them, their phones rang. No excuse me, not even to their table guests. I was trying to get a drink order at one table. I finally just looked at the cell phone users lunch companion and stated. "I will be back shortly."

I am not going to stand there at any table and wait for someone to acknowledge me when they feel like it. If you don't want someone to wait on you, why do you go out to a sit down restaurant? It makes no sense. Are people so oblivious to anyone but themselves, that they can't even order their meal?

It seriously irks me. I get tired of going to a table, not even being able to say Hello. And BAM! A phone rings. I have seen a table of two people, have and entire meal, while one person is on the phone. Just the person I want to dine with. NOT! The one table I seen that takes the cake was a family. The mom and the dad were on the phone, the oldest son had an IPod in his ear, their daughter had a Blue Tooth in her ear, the youngest daughter was watching a portable DVD player and the youngest son was playing a portable Nintendo. Not a single soul spoke to each other except to order their meal. I know this is the Age of Convenience, but good grief. These people needed to spend their time as a family. I would hate being them and waking up one morning and have not a single fun family dinner moment.

What are your opinions on that one?

Same Song Woes

2007-09-11T21:28:00.000-04:00

Sorry I have been Missing In Action so to speak. Just been caught up in real life. Working six days a week. Hell my kids are lucky if I see them. Now on to the purpose of the title.

Have you ever been to a restaurant on your birthday? Better yet, do you work in one that has that stupid ass birthday song? God I hate ours. I had a contest with several servers one day. We were arguing over whose birthday song was the worst. I am happy to report.. or maybe unhappy to report ... I was the winner of the worst song!! I received a round of "I'm sorry's!" Truly it was funny as hell.

Not only is the birthday boy or gal embarrassed, so are the singers. We have to ignore our guests to go sing a seriously annoying song. To make ourselves feel better though, we have created our own versions and variations of the song we have to sing. Though we usually sing it about people who annoy us. Not always our guests. I have sang the song, or rather my version of it, dedicated to many a co-worker who has annoyed me beyond belief.

Here is my version. It is personally for people who piss me off. Enjoy!

Fried chicken,

Broken glass,

Your so stupid,

Kiss my ass.

The beauty of this song is, that when I sing it, my co-workers who have annoyed me think I am making fun of the song. Little do they know. The joke is on them.

Sunday Sinners

2007-09-02T23:55:00.000-04:00

Before I even begin, I am issuing a warning. I am going to bitch, whine, moan and complain. I am not up for trying to educate or humor. I am pissed and going let go, because this is my platform.

Remember, I warned you before you began reading.

I am sick of working Sunday mornings. They are literally the worst day of the week to work. Nothing but parities and grouchy ass people. They are also the worst tip days.

I do believe, and I am not attacking religion here, that church going Bible thumping people are the worst to wait on. They look at you and ask, why aren't you in church? DO you believe in God? Of course I do. Every Sunday, every server is looked at like we are the anti-Christ because we aren't in church. And all I want to do is ask them, who the hell would be here to wait on you if I had been in church? I would love to go and spend time at church with my children. But every Sunday, I send my kids off on the church bus and I go to work. And every Sunday the restaurant fills up with grouchy people, shitty tippers and cheap assholes.

At least half of the tables this morning were filled with grouchy people. Seriously. I mean, if you don't like getting up on your day off and it makes you rude to those you encounter. Sleep in dammit and wake up in a better mood. Keep your pamphlets, fliers or whatever you call them. We don't want them. I believe in God and a higher power. But he doesn't pay my bills or feed my children. I do.

No matter how bad my day is, (and believe me, I have some bad ones. Read my real life blog for proof.) and no matter who I meant. I put a smile on my face. Whether it is at work or not. I can be a full frontal bitch, not gonna lie. But rude people annoy me.

Ugh! Okay, I think I have bitched enough. Why don't you tell me some of your rude people experiences that set you off in a bad way? and how you dealt with them.

Tiny Tot Warfare

2007-08-25T00:58:00.000-04:00

I just had to write about this today. In my line of work, I see many stupid things. The most popular is how parents treat their children.

I have see parents smack bottoms, take children to the bathroom (and you know the kid doesn't have to potty), seen a spatula brought from home (it sat on the table as a warning to the child not to act up) and seen children ruling the parents.

Children ruling the parents are the worst. Not just because it isn't appropriate, but these kids are unruly, disrespectful and sometimes mean. What a lovely next generation some people are raising. The latest in this thread of children having the upper hand is: There was an adorable little girl, or I thought she was at first. The parents placed her in the high chair and all was well for about fifteen minutes. After that she was hell on two feet. She proceeded to scream like a banshee, kick like a mule and tell her parents to let her out NOW! Instead of disciplining said child, they removed her from her seat and proceeded to let her run around the table and to various other areas in the restaurant. At the risk of losing my job, I wanted to tell them to park her bratty ass.

It is dangerous to allow children to run freely around a restaurant, not to mention annoying as hell. The food on the plates is at minimum 180 degrees. The child can get burnt. The child causes a server to play "Dodge the People" and believe me it isn't a fun game. The child also annoys the other patrons of the establishment. Basically, it shows a complete lack of parental skills.

Guess what? When this kid is 16, and she is not listening to a word you say or respecting you, you are going to be whining, bitching and moaning to everyone who will listen.

Save our ears. Take control and be a Mom or Dad!

I am the take my child to the bathroom type. My boys sit at the table, do not scream, kick or cry. And if they make a mess they shouldn't make, they are the ones cleaning it up. God help my kids if they ever even thought of spreading mashed potatoes on the wall. (Yes that has happened) Their art work is limited to paper. Don't get me wrong, they are not perfect, but when we go out to dine, unless it is Chuck E. Cheese, they behave or else.

Tell me about some of your child experiences while dining out. I am most curious to hear new stories.

Tip Jar Wonders

2007-08-14T23:48:00.000-04:00

Speaking as a person who survives on tips, I have noticed a huge crop of Tip Jars. Placed at some relatively unique locations. So I wonder now, are people just using tips jars for extra cash?

I went into a Dunkin Donuts. There was one by a cash register. I know for a fact that the people that work there make above minimum wage. So does handy a fat lady like me a donut require a tip? I mean, your paying a dollar a donut as it is, so what would you tip? and why?

Do the random tip jars make a mockery of the people who are actually in need of a tip? Is the result of numerous jars at outrageous locations the reason for dwindling tip amounts? Basically, are people getting tired of tipping?

You tip your hair dresser, the bell hop, your server and several other occupations. Now we are supposed to tip a cashier?

I am not saying this to degrade the random jars, hell I don't care if someone is trying to make an extra buck or two. That is what I am trying to do every day at work. But if we don't tip the cashier at the grocery store, why should we tip out someone at a donut shop? They do less then the grocery clerk does.

The next thing you know there will be a tip jar at the doctors office, the bank and the insurance company. In my opinion they all get too much of our money anyway. If they start using the random Tip Jar, are they in anymore rights then the before mentioned cashier?

Just some curious questions that have been flitting through my mind. Crazy, I know, but hey that is me.

Are You Clear?

2007-08-11T22:32:00.000-04:00

Are you clear on etiquette around the world? A friend of mine sent me this little quiz. Take it. Enjoy. And learn some interesting facts. For those that are thinking of avoiding the Quiz. It is only ELEVEN questions okay? LOL

http://www.fekids.com/img/kln/flash/DontGrossOutTheWorld.swf

Power Tripping

2007-08-04T01:43:00.000-04:00

In my particular restaurant, we have employees called "Keys". Basically, a Key is a person who excels at customer service, their job and can do several positions in the store. I am a Key. I can serve, bar tend, prep, dish wash and do Fry/Salad(busy ass back line cook position). I love that. It is a tough and honored position to have in a store. Because a Key can do all of these different positions they are honored occasionally with a high hourly wage and day where they work as the boss.

It is a difficult position to be in at times. For if you cannot handle being the boss for a day and then returning to your usual position amongst your peers, being Key is not for you.

There is one server that I work with, whom most of the restaurant despises. I have given him the benefit of the doubt. Tried to see the good side. Today, I failed and lost my temper. The bosses think he is great. He is not. He is a sub par server, not eloquent with guests and is lazy to the point of ticking off ever server he is stuck in a section with. Not to mention the hosts would love to string him up by his toes, upside down from a tree and beat him silly.

The other day, the bosses made him Key.

I will admit, minus his ability to speak to his co-workers correctly, he did a very good job. For once, I saw him bus tables, actually talk to guests and run food. I was impressed to see him actually working hard for a change.

Needless to say, he managed to basically tick off all of the servers tonight. I am glad I was boss lady tonight. The only thing I saw him doing wrong was marching down the server line and barking orders to clean this, stock that, like a drill Sargent. I am pretty sure I don't wish to be in his shoes tomorrow morning when he returns to server status.

I served this morning, bar tended in the afternoon and was Key at night. I had a busy day.

I ended up telling the new Key off in the morning shift. We were both serving and he snatched a tray of food, for my table, that I was going to run and told me to stand there and wait for the next food to come out of the window. Not smart. Being I am a natural red head, I am blunt to a fault and I have a temper to compile it all together. This is the response he earned.

"Don't tell me how to do my fucking job, (insert dumb ass' name here). Piss off!"

I went directly to my boss and said, "I let (insert insulting name here) tick me off and I let him have it. Just in case he says something to you. Not going to deny it. He deserved it. You can write me up if you want."

The new "Key" had no response. He is not used to people telling them what they think of him or his attitude. His eyes got wide and he looked shocked. If he knew me, he wouldn't be shocked at all.

Don't Touch My Baby!

2007-07-30T00:26:00.000-04:00

This day started out normal. I was in a good mood. Business was steady. Not too much chaos. Hell, a nice looking man even asked for my phone number today. Then I got this table I am about to speak of.

The guests sat down and I politely greeted them. I took their order and took care of their every need. There was three of them and they each needed no less then six refills a piece. Everything went smoothly. All smiles. They had a very adorable baby girl. The Father was having difficultly getting his daughter in her car seat carrier. And here is what happened.

"Are you having trouble sir?" I ask, as I reach towards the car seat to help him figure out how to fasten it up.

"Don't touch my baby!" is snarled by the mother who was trapped near the wall.

I literally flinch. A simple, don't touch the baby, in a moderate tone would have sufficed. But she changed from a nice smiling customer to a psycho before my eyes.

I quickly moved my hands away from the car seat. I look at her and say, "I'm sorry. I was just trying to help him fasten her in."

"I don't care what you were trying to do. Don't touch my baby!" her voice gets agitated even more.

"I truly am sorry. I wasn't trying to offend."

"I don't care what you were trying to do. You don't just go up to someones baby and try to touch them. Do you have any idea what is on your hands after carried all of that stuff in there?" she questions me, as her voice gets increasingly louder.

"I understand. I have three boys. If it makes you feel any better, I wash my hands every time I enter that door and I just washed them before I came back out here." I stated.

She gets even more angry with me. "Just bring us our change we want to go."

At this point I am baffled. I didn't think I had done anything wrong and I believed I had handled the confrontation appropriately. I quickly brought them their change and went in search of a manager. I found him and told him. "If you get a complaint call later, it will be about me. I was just trying to help and this woman went crazy on me over her baby."

He proceeded to ask me what happened and I told him. I told him I thought she was psycho. Apparently they had came to the door and were listening in on my conversation. All hell broke loose when he went out there to talk to them. They proceeded to lie and say I was a shitty server the whole time. They said I never tried to apologize and got confrontational with them. That of course almost got me in trouble. Thank goodness, my boss knows me much better then that. The only thing I got in trouble for was for not taking him to the office to tell him what happened. Still, I have never had a guest go crazy on me before. Shook me to the core. I hate that about my industry. The customer is not always right. I am sorry, but guest or not, I feel they don't have the right to go ape shit on a server. So basically, I am just down right personally offended. I gave my night shift away. I was so mad that this woman was allowed to treat me like I was disgusting, accuse me of harming her child and got free food out of it.

Naturally, I didn't get a tip. Imagine that!

Behind The Scenes

2007-07-21T01:45:00.000-04:00

Ever really wondered what was going on while you were sitting and waiting patiently?

Every restaurant has rules. Rules of conduct. Rules to be followed. Rules to add order to chaos.

Sad to say, that when a server approaches your table, 90% of them have to say something specific. Usually our sales pitch. It is required of us to spiel you. We have to lure your attention to something more specific. It is a main part of my job and the only part I dislike. I think it makes us sound like a robot. As if I have a huge computer chip shoved up my ass. I can see it in the eyes of my patrons as I am speaking. Thank goodness for creativity. I endeavour to do my best to read my table. Judge and see if they mind if I toss in a joke. Humour lightens the mood. Thankfully, most of my guests tend to have a sense of humor.

The next step of the behind the scenes is timing. Most have a time limit on when everything has to be served. At my particular restaurant, drinks must arrive within two minutes, after we leave the table. Not an unreasonable goal. Except on weekends. Thirteen servers. One drink station. Utter catastrophe.

Then the appetizers must reach you in a certain amount of time. That one depends on the cooks. Trust me when I say don't piss them off. The better you are in with your cooks, the quicker you will get what you need.

Next, the salads. Here is the tricky part. After you have received your appetizer, we then have two minutes to make your salads and get them to the table. It is usually a toss up (no pun intended). If you bring the salads to quickly, you take the chance of angering your guests. If you bring them out too late, the meal could arrive to quickly. Again, offending your guests. One salad station, and 13 servers. Good Luck!

Finally, your meal arrives. That is when servers go crazy. Not intentionally. But simple things, such as extra butter and A1 (which is made with raisins, and a true steak lover would NEVER use it) could have been asked for at time of order. The worst, is that someone will ask for one thing, you bring that, then they will ask for another. One item at a time. Stresses me out. Makes it difficult for any server to keep up with all tables then. I actually had one table asked me for ten different items, as I brought out each prior request. Personally wanted to scream.

Desserts. Believe it or not, it is 99% mandated that your server ask you about them. What sucks about this, we don't care if you have dessert or not. Your server, does not care if you order it.

In the alley, as we call the area we run around in, we have running side work. Things we must do, such as bake bread, stock ice, fill dressings and bring up plates. Good luck on that happening. Servers are divided up. Fifty percent lazy, Fifty percent hard working.

The slower the night, the less that gets done. Never understood that. Probably never will.

Tomorrow I will return to my regularly scheduled bitching and tell you about how lazy some servers can be. Maybe a list of 10 ways you can tell you have a bad co-worker. That sounds more fun to me. But I have such a huge list. I will need to narrow it down. So stay tuned.

Pride and Prejudice

2007-07-14T00:53:00.000-04:00

Not many people can actually say that they love their job. I can. I take pride in my work. I take pride in the fact that I can make someone at my table leave with a smile on their face. I crack jokes, bring refills, smile and chit chat. Sure that is not ALL that I do, but still I love my job. I love people. What I hate are assholes. Below are my qualifications for being an Asshole.

You might be an asshole if....

1.) pull a piece of your hair out after you have finished your meal and put it on your plate. Then you complain about it. (Yes this happened tonight.)

2.) are an Arabic person, who sneers at your server, run her ragged, spend $200 and leave $10. (This too happened tonight. If you don't like Americans, but you hate your country too. Don't fucking come to America dumb ass!)

3.) you try to convert me to your religion, thinking that I do not have any because I work at night. (Another incident. I believe in God. I believe in speaking of Him freely or any religion you believe. But when I am working, I do NOT have time for a 15 minute discussion on why I work Sundays.)

4.) let your children run rampant, nearly knocking down servers who are carrying food over 180 degrees. (Your children will get burnt, someones dinner will be ruined, a server could get injured and then there will be a pissed off cook. Children need to be taught proper public behavior.)

5.) your bill equals $74, you have a gift card for $40 and only tip on the $34 you spent of your "own" money. (The bill prior to gift cards is what you tip on you ignorant ass. Yes, this happens "all" the time.)

6.) you are set in the back, then shout at your server of the injustice of being sat there, saying it is because you are black. Then telling said server that you are personally offended. (I know that prejudice still reigns. I am NO fool. But, don't take it out on your server. She didn't seat you. Everyone has to sit in the back at some point. It is not a bus you have been assigned to seat at on a permanent basis. Grow up!)

What inspired this little rant was Asshole avoidance number 2. Prejudice. Prejudging. Things like this are common in the restaurant world. Servers will often prejudge their tables. I personally work with one man (and I use that term loosely) who does it to every table in his section. At the place I work at, servers are set up as teams. There are two servers for each section. If you are his partner, you know you are going to make money. He will judge a table before it sits down, and if he thinks they are cheap, he will pass it on to his partner. I think he is a judgmental Asshole. The worst kind.

I am probably the least racist person you will ever have the chance to meet. I think if there wasn't a purpose to all of us being different colors and races, then we would be the same. Hell we all come out of a woman the same way, as well as being made the same way. So when I have a table of someone who is a different race then myself, I tend to give them special treatment. My way of showing that just because you have had shitty service in the past from former servers. You're not going to get it from me. That is the way of things. Some servers will just go through the motions, barely a smile, if your lucky a refill in under three minutes and a friendly hello. That truly depends on how long a server has served. The older the server, the most likely for prejudgement.

So tonight, with the guests from #2, I went above and beyond. I even held their adorable little baby boy for awhile, so the mother could eat. He was fussy, yet too cute and for some unexplainable reason, babies love me. He giggled and smiled and the mother was able to finish her meal. The above mentioned was my thanks. Maybe I should be grateful there was a tip at all. The man who paid sneered at me the whole time. Oh well, too bad for him. He got great service, his wife got to enjoy at least part of her meal and the baby giggled. He just needs to go back to his country if he dislikes Americans so much. Better yet, he needs to go through a drive thru and order his food, take it home and sneer at the television in private.

See I dislike reverse racists, as I call them, just as much as I dislike whites being judgmental.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

2007-07-09T20:37:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the Candy Shop! No, not really, but that is what it feels like sometimes in the restaurant industry. Personally, if you need it for medicinal purposes, go for it. If you are using it to get high, well like the title says "Stupid is as stupid does."

You can divide up the employees in percentages. 60% do drugs, 20% sell and do drugs and the other 20% are actually people who love the restaurant industry. It is nothing to come into work and see co-workers strung out. Alas, not everyone can tell. Some people are so adept at hiding it, you as a guest would never be able to tell.

Example: There is one girl at my work in particular. When you see her at your table, she is kind, friendly, bubbly and very adept. But when she comes in the in door, look out. She is so wound up so tight, I do believe her head will pop off one day. I am serious. At first glance, she is sweet and considerate, but after you work with her for a week, you want to strangle her. Literally. God forbid you tick her off. Once she is pissed, she doesn't shut up. I had to work with her one night that someone, early in the shift, made her mad. She in turn, drove the rest of us crazy. She ranted and raved to everyone that would listen in earshot. If there wasn't anyone, she would constantly talk to herself. She reminds me of one those old fashioned wind up toys. (See picture above) Except all you have to do to wind her up, is push her buttons the wrong way. She is a prime example of someone who needs to lay off the uppers.

Personally, if I am going to be stuck with someone doing drugs, I would rather work with the potheads. All they do is loaf off and nibble on every single thing they can get their hands on. They only make me want to choke them on the weekends. Those are the days when doing side work is most important. They will take the last knife and instead of getting more, they will stand around and talk. Standing pretty much everyplace you need to walk in.

Just to let you know, not all of them do illegal drugs. Some of them drink. Life is always interesting in a restaurant. Basically, I work in a three ring circus. I can only thank the stars that I am not the Ringmaster.

My Brain Ran Away!

2007-07-05T00:38:00.000-04:00

So I have been having a bit of a writer's block. I was talking to a friend of mine online and my brain decided to go drinking with hers. The brain's got drunk and had some fun, while I have been wandering around trying to locate where they were drinking. The brains returned home totally intoxicated. Mine is officially sobered up.

I worked on tonight. I really thought we would be dead. As in, no business. I was surprised to see so many dining out on a family holiday. Most servers dread working a holiday. It really is a toss up. Either you are busy as hell and short staffed to boot or dead and bored out of your mind. Working a holiday usually sucks no matter what you do. I personally dread working them. Don't get me wrong. I tend to make better money on a holiday. I just for one time would like to spend it with my children. The youngest doesn't understand. The middle one says he does, but I can tell I disappoint him. The oldest is resigned to it.

Tonight was basically couples night. Maybe they don't have family in the area. I seen a few families, but not many. Maybe it is me, but when I was growing up. The 4th of July was cookout central and firework frenzy day. Every kid in the family was excited to be a part of it.

Not dogging the staying open on a holiday. It comes with the territory of working in a restaurant. Just wondering why we are such a fast paced society anymore that we HAVE to stay open. Somethings were just better the old way. Family days and holidays go hand in hand. Probably wouldn't complain so much if I wasn't a single mother, never mind. I complain a bunch so probably would anyway.

Hope everyone had a Happy Holiday! I promise to write more often.

Hell's Kitchen!

2007-06-24T00:55:00.000-04:00

Today was a double in Hell's Kitchen. It wasn't due to bad guests, mean management or lazy co-workers. Nope, it was due to no air conditioning. The entire restaurant was steaming hot. I do believe we had the same temperature on the inside of the restaurant as we did outside of it.

First of all, servers don't get to sit down. At least not that often. We are constantly running around in circles. Going in the in door, running right out the out door. We are spoiled by air conditioning. When we see guests sitting at their tables saying they are cold, we are jealous. I go home every night sticky, not only from whatever disgusting thing that gets spilled on me or that I spill on myself. From sweat. Some women say, " I don't sweat, I glisten." Yeah, right. Whatever. That is my response. I melt like an ice cube put in a cup of hot coffee. You would think that with all the melting I do on a regular basis, my ass would melt off. No such luck. I think it retains more water then the Mississippi river. They say the body is 70 percent water. Well if that is true, I need to find a special device that will drain it out of me. Oh wait... The Air Conditioner broke. I think I am down to 50 percent water retention.

So tension is high, guests are complaining, workers are flat out bitching. It was a 12 hour shift in Hell! God I love my job!! I have to keep telling myself that. I really do. I am just spoiled. I don't think I can complain about tipping or manners for awhile. I will be to busy being thankful for the air conditioner.

Despite the heat, guests were most definitely considerate. Employee's were taking turns running to stand in the freezer for two minutes. We do bathroom checks, to constantly make sure it is clean. Everyone was trying to take the turn. The bathroom air conditioner still was working. Too bad I didn't have a table with a shitty attitude. For once they might have been glad to dine in the restroom if I had offered. LOL

What's Wrong For Dinner

2007-06-17T00:35:00.000-04:00

I know I have written previously about dining etiquette. It is just a huge pet peeve of mine. Several things happened this weekend that I just felt the compelling need to voice my opinion over. So instead of straight bitching, which is my norm, I have decided to make a list of Dining Do's and Do Not's.

I will start with the Do Not's. For they are usually more interesting.

Do Not!!

1. Yell at someone who is not your server "Hey! Hey You! I want my check now dammit!" (Servers do not close out other tables. If I didn't wait on you, and you want your check, please ask me politely to get your server.)

2. When your steak is prepared wrong and needs to be refired and brought up to temperature, do not write a note saying, "Because my steak is cooked wrong, you get no tip!" (Yes, this happened tonight. Not to me. Your server does not cook your food. That would be the "Cook". If the only thing that went wrong with your dining experience was the temperature of your steak. Don't take it out on your server. She or he did nothing wrong.)

3. If you spend $113.00 on a meal, do NOT give your server $120.00 and tell her to keep the change and that she did an excellent job. (This makes you look like an Ass. A cheap one at that. I will say it again. If you cannot afford to tip correctly, Mc Donald's will happily take your money.)

4. If you come into a restaurant and are told there will be a 45 minute wait. Do not start bitching at the hostess 30 minutes later. Forty-five minutes is fifteen minutes away. (The hostess can not seat you, no matter how much you wish to be seated, if there isn't a table to dine at, unless of course you would like to eat in the bathroom on the toilet. I am sure we can find you seats in there for your trashy attitude.)

5. Do Not ask for half sweet tea and half regular. (That makes you look too damn lazy to add sugar to your tea. If you want sweet tea order it. You are making your server take two trips for each of your refills. This too makes you look like an Ass.)

6. Half Diet and half regular Coke. ( Get a clue, you are not saving any calories this way. Just pick a damn drink.)

7. Don't just leave fifty cents on the table, because you spent too much to tip or are just too cheap. (This is an insult. Do you like to be insulted? I don't think so. When you do that, all we really want to do is chase you out the door and throw the money at your cheap ass head.)

8. Do not, while speaking a foreign language, take pictures of your servers breasts then tell jokes in your home language. (This actually happened. Personally if I was management, I would have asked them to leave. If I was the server, they would have been wearing their food.)

9. Do not act like your server is an inconvenience. (If you didn't want someone to wait on you, why are you at a sit down restaurant. There are millions of crappy buffets everywhere. )

10. Do not knocked 70 freshly rolled silverware set-ups out of a servers hand and onto the floor then stand there laughing and pointing at said server. (Rolling silverware is a bitch. That silverware you just knocked out of his/her hand has to now be washed again twice, separated and polished, then rolled again. You just made that person have to stay at least another half an hour longer at work. It is not funny.)

Those are just some of the "Fun" things that happened this weekend alone. Now for the Do's

1. Manners! The words are Please, Thank You, Your Welcome, May I? and Would you mind? (Whether we mind or not is not the point, it is our job we will get it for you. Though we would rather do it happily. Manners used are manners given.)

2. Do write nice things. (Believe it or not, even a thank you written on the receipt will make your server smile. It is thoughtful and not in the least bit old fashioned.)

3. Do try to keep your child's mess contained. (We as servers understand that children are messy. But mashed potatoes smeared on the wall is uncalled for at all times.)

4. Do try to hold at least a three minute conversation with your server. (Don't keep them long. But this shows them that you think they are human. You might get a witty conversation and better service. We like to build regular guests that are just our own. I have made many a good friend this way.)

5. Do let your child have something other then water to drink. Even if it is just milk. (Dining out should be a treat to children. They sit there and get antsy. Letting them have something other then water makes it a more special occasion.)

6. Do give compliments. Genuine ones. (Stopping the manager and telling him you had a great experience helps to brighten his mood as well as your servers. Serving is highly stressful, a compliment is another smile given.)

7. Enjoy yourself. Laugh and have fun! Dining out should be fun not a hassle.

8. If you are going to go outside and have a cigarette. Let your server know. (That way we can insure that your table doesn't get bussed.)

9. Do ask for anything extra you require at the same time. (Asking your server for extra stuff, every time she brings the last item you requested is annoying and rude. In having us make ten trips for ten different items, you have then made us fall behind with the other four tables we are waiting on. In turn, not only inconveniencing your server, but your fellow dining guests as well.)

10. Tip accordingly. Fifteen percent is standard. Twenty percent is preferred. If you Tip less then ten percent, that is offensive.

Those are just my top ten. Believe me when I say I have more pet peeves. Most of them have to do with co-workers. But I will leave that for another time.

Happy Dining and Blogging to you!

On The Way To The Mechanics(Revisited)

2007-06-14T11:29:00.000-04:00

I have had the last few days off and therefore not had anything new to write about, so I decided to share an older post or two. Since they make more sense when they are paired. The second part is right under the first. Enjoy!

Just to give you an idea before you get to reading. This blog is about my day before I went to work. The next blog I write will be about my night at work.

As those of you who have been reading my daily blogs know, my car broke down. Again. SO..I got up and was planning to go to the mechanic, since my dad and I had done the previous work on the car together and we were at our wits end. Since I am new to Florida, I got directions from my dad who, by the way, has lived here for 9 years. What does he do? Gives me wrong ones. It's okay, I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is the fact that I turned around and was heading the right direction and the car dies in the middle of the busiest street. And do you think anyone would stop and say hey.. would you like help pushing the car out of the way. I mean I was blocking one hell of a busy ass intersection. But NOOOO.. I get stupid asses yelling out the window to fucking move my car. I would like to post this next question just for them "Want to tell me how the hell I am supposed to push a huge car across a busy intersection, with a four year old in the car and steer the damn thing at the same time, by myself?" If you can give me a logical solution then I will retract my former statement of calling you a stupid ass. But until that day comes, stupid ass is your nickname.

Finally a motorcycle policeman comes to help, he calls a police car and they drive push me to a gas station. Where luckily through the kindness of a stranger, I get the car jumped. Now the car is running and I have proper directions. So I go to PEP Boys (who by the way SUCK!!!) And low and behold what do they tell me?? We can't work on your car, it is too old. We only work on newer cars here. Since when do mechanics have age limits on vehicles? I mean honestly. That is like an 88 year old woman going to the hospital and the doctor says, "I'm sorry ma'am. Your too old. We don't offer medical assistance to people your age." Now if that happened, what good would hospitals be? They wouldn't be any more use to us then a piece of shit mechanic telling someone that their car is too old.

Sooooo .. the car dies yet again at PEP Boys (remember their name and don't take your car there) and would they come out and help. umm no.. the car is too old. I therefore depend on the kindness of yet another stranger. I get the car running again and find a mechanic to look at my car that doesn't discriminate on age. Well he is a moron. I know somethings about cars and what he was telling me wasn't right. I gave up.. I needed to try and get home and get ready for work.

I finally make it home, proceed to get ready for work. Burn myself with my iron. Yep. Have a blister. Call a taxi. Wait for the taxi. Get a phone call from the taxi man asking for directions to my house(doesn't sound like a good taxi man). Wait for the taxi. still wait for the taxi.. i give up.. I cranked up the car and took a chance I could get to work on time. Drove like a mad woman... and yes I was really mad and fed up at that time. I made it to work. Two minutes late.

When I get done writing my next blog, you will find today's positive reinforcement statement there.

Part Two!!

LOSERS AND WINNERS!

Since the title of this blog is Losers and Winners, I will start with the losers, since I like winners and want to end my posts on a positive note.

Todays featured losers are the 60 dollar check and the 5 dollar tippers. They sit down at your table already mad, because they had to wait. Not understanding that if you get seated to quickly, not only will you get bad service, because your waitress is slammed, but you could also crash the kitchen and then everyone will have to wait for a really long time to get thier food. So just because you have to wait for 10 minutes before you get seated, doesn't mean that the hostess doesn't want to give you a table. Or that we don't want your business. It means we try to run at a steady even pace. That way, when you finally get to sit at the table, you won't have to wait for anything. So don't take it out on your server. This particulair table was pissed off from the get go. I tried to make them smile, I was nothing but friendly, polite and courteous. But they were mad and nothing short of buying thier meal would have made them happy. But since everything was cooked properly, and they never had to ask for a refill. and nothing but thier bad attitude kept them from smiling. They took it out on me. They were rude, inconsiderate and to top it off cheap. I hope you come across this site and read 15 percent minimum is the proper tip you jerk. Also, I am there to take care of your needs, doesn't mean I am there to be treated rudely. I say this, because no matter how much a table ticks me off, I am never rude to them. It is not my nature to treat guests at my place of business as crappy as they treat me. Why not? you ask. Well because my grandmother raised me and she taught me manners. Basically the one thing alot of people lack these days. If you don't know what manners are, I suggest you take your sour ass to the library(if you know what that is) and find a book that will teach you what they are. They are located in the self help section. IF you still can't find find the book to teach you these basic fundimental skills, ask the librarian. She will know where the book you need is located. If you don't know what a librarian is..it is the woman sitting behind the BIG desk with a computer in front of him or her. Okay done talking of ignorant idiots.

Now for the winners of today. Todays featured winners where a young married couple, who teased me that they were just on a date. Too cute. I found out she liked to cook, so I gave her my email and we are going to exchange recipes through email. I just have to say I love friendly people. The true kind that come out to dinner and when you try to talk to them or take thier order and they do not act as if you are an inconvience because you need to speak to them. So I must give this particular table a 5 star rating. As well as many thank you's for being so nice.

Now for today's positive reinforcment statement...

"Friendliness... It's not just an act..it can be genuine too."

Up for Management

2007-06-03T01:30:00.000-04:00

I am not ashamed for what I am about to say. I am pissed off and I want the world to know exactly what corporate thinks is "Management Material."

I work with a lot of people younger then me. It is a fact that at least fifty percent of the servers are working their way through college. I think that is great. What I can not abide is lazy people. I had to miss work yesterday due to the same lack of child care issues. So I was lucky enough to pull a double. In the process someone asked me to take their closing shift. I, grateful for the extra money, took the offer. So I ended up working from the time we opened, which was 11 a.m. until the time we closed which was 11 p.m. without a break. That doesn't count the extra hour after we closed for clean up. Again, I chose this path. What I did not chose, was to close with a lazy asshole. He is 25, thinks he is God's Gift to women, rude, not a team player and LAZY. This boy, and yes I said boy, is up for management. I asked to do the easy closing shift, because I was so tired and hurting badly. He refused to switch me, even though the manager had already given it to me. Instead of helping and being a team player, he sat his ass on the counter of the sink for 30 minutes, and did NOTHING. If that was not enough laziness, he sat at a booth for 15 minuted talking to another co-worker who was already done for the night. To make him look even better (sarcasm intended) he took no less then three cigarette breaks.

Now for some lead up work. For those of you that do not know, servers are allotted sections. We are assigned certain tables, those alone are ours. One of the other closers took one of my tables by mistake, no problem, she gave me one of hers to compensate. Then she suggested that we take turns. I didn't mind. I was wanting to get out of there so taking turns would enable me to get more work done. Bad Idea!!! She stopped taking her turn and wanted to give one of my tables to the lazy ass. I said no, it is my table you can have it or I will take it. She said, "It is his turn please let him have it." She did not like my response of, "Hell no I am not going to give that lazy asshole one of my tables." She then started in on begging me, saying I shouldn't be that way. Why the hell not? I was working like a mad woman. I was and am so exhausted I can barely walk and he wouldn't so much as follow me with a tea pitcher when my hands were full to save me two trips back to the kitchen. Hell no I am not going to give a moocher one of my tables. I, of course, have a mouth on me and told him what I thought about him being a "team player." He responded, "I am looking after my tables and I am not going to help anyone I don't have too." Followed by him leaning against the counter doing nothing. My response was, "Sorry, I should have known better then to ask the laziest person in the store, that doesn't care about anyone but himself, for help." That just pissed him off further. Ask me if I care? NOPE!! He said, "Well if I asked for as much help as you.... " I didn't allow him to finish. I was so mad I don't remember exactly what I said to him. Either way, I seriously doubt I made a friend tonight. Again, I don't care!

I transferred from a store in Indiana to a store in Florida. I opened to brand new franchises. Where I instilled team work policies with each opening. Even something as simple as a follow can enhance a guests dining experience. Everyone I worked with previously was a team player. Things at my old restaurant ran smoothly. Here, no one gives a damn about anyone, but themselves. Then management wonders why guests are complaining more and the business is lagging. DUH! Lazy people!

The highlight of the night was the girl closer clocking out and refusing to take more tables before we officially closed and him rejecting a table because the guests were black. That just pissed me off so bad that I went to management. I am not a tattle tale. But racism is a very, very, very big NO NO to me. I hate it. I hate any stupidity that allows it to continue. Whether it is sexual or color based. Racism is NOT ignorance. It is a lack of intelligence called STUPIDITY! There is no cure. The only thing that will stop it, is the next generation. We have to raise our children better, they are the future. When I am eighty I want to know my children will have changed this world for the better, if by nothing else then, not being racist!

I went way off base, but I don't care. Just thought I would introduce what some companies considered "Proper Management Material!" Sucks doesn't it?

Here is today's positive reinforcement statement.

"Be positive, be truthful, be kind, be loving, be fair, be helpful and many more things.. but most importantly be yourself."

I know that has nothing to do with the post, but I am still too pissed off to think of something better. I will do better next time. I promise!

Proper Behaviour

2007-05-26T01:17:00.000-04:00

I know I have touched base on this subject more then once, but some things in my opinion, need repeating.

I am not only referring to please and thank you, but as for personal behaviour and the behaviour of your children. I saw children today, that if they had been my own, we would have been taking a walk to the bathroom. And they would not have be using the potty. One child, in particular, controlled the whole table. No one could do anything without consulting the child's opinion. She was four. These parents need to get a clue. I am all for raising children to be independent and self reliant, but when your child controls you? Not a good thing. These parents need to realize that when this girl grows up to be a teenager, all hell will break lose. Then they are going to be standing around whining to their friends about, "I don't know where I went wrong." Being a parent is more then about being a friend. You have to be the adult and act like it. Sucks I know, but unless you want to contribute to a world that already has good declining and bad gaining, you and everyone else needs to gain control of our children.

I read on another blog about one of these days the good people of the world were going to finally get fed up and kick butt. Eliminating the bad. Sad to say that if the good did try to disperse with the bad, I believe that some of the so called "Good" people could possibly end up corrupt. There for bringing us right back to where we began. But I have left the original subject. Sorry about that. Tend to ramble when trying to get my meaning across.

Back to my main point, children need to be children. And though they should be the center of your world, they shouldn't rule it. Pass the word.

"Children.... worth more then the world, just don't let them rule it yet."

Too Many Days Off

2007-05-20T13:45:00.000-04:00

Due to real life and baby sitter blues.. I got an unexpected vacation that I didn't want and most definitely didn't need. Since I have no current events to write about concerning work here is an older post from my old blog brought up for you to hopefully enjoy.

Since the title of this blog is Losers and Winners, I will start with the losers, since I like winners and want to end my posts on a positive note.

Today's featured losers are the 60 dollar check and the 5 dollar tippers. They sit down at your table already mad, because they had to wait. Not understanding that if you get seated to quickly, not only will you get bad service, because your waitress is slammed, but you could also crash the kitchen and then everyone will have to wait for a really long time to get their food. So just because you have to wait for 10 minutes before you get seated, doesn't mean that the hostess doesn't want to give you a table. Or that we don't want your business. It means we try to run at a steady even pace. That way, when you finally get to sit at the table, you won't have to wait for anything. So don't take it out on your server. This particular table was pissed off from the get go. I tried to make them smile, I was nothing but friendly, polite and courteous. But they were mad and nothing short of buying their meal would have made them happy. But since everything was cooked properly, and they never had to ask for a refill and nothing but their bad attitude kept them from smiling. They took it out on me. They were rude, inconsiderate and to top it off cheap. I hope you come across this site and read 15 percent minimum is the proper tip you jerk. Also, I am there to take care of your needs, doesn't mean I am there to be treated rudely. I say this, because no matter how much a table ticks me off, I am never rude to them. It is not my nature to treat guests at my place of business as crappy as they treat me. Why not? you ask. Well because my grandmother raised me and she taught me manners. Basically the one thing a lot of people lack these days. If you don't know what manners are, I suggest you take your sour ass to the library(if you know what that is) and find a book that will teach you what they are. They are located in the self help section. IF you still can't find find the book to teach you these basic fundamental skills, ask the librarian. She will know where the book you need is located. If you don't know what a librarian is..it is the woman sitting behind the BIG desk with a computer in front of him or her. Okay done talking of ignorant idiots.

Now for the winners of today. Today's featured winners where a young married couple, who teased me that they were just on a date. Too cute. I found out she liked to cook, so I gave her my email and we are going to exchange recipes through email. I just have to say I love friendly people. The true kind that come out to dinner and when you try to talk to them or take their order and they do not act as if you are an inconvenience because you need to speak to them. So I must give this particular table a 5 star rating. As well as many thank you's for being so nice.
Now for today's positive reinforcement statement...

"Friendliness... It's not just an act..it can be genuine too."
Chrys

Hard Days Night

2007-05-13T01:53:00.000-04:00

No I am not talking about the Cafe' LOL. It was the third busiest day in the restaurant business. Let me say.. ordered chaos. It is the days I live for, work wise that is. Everything and everyone running rapidly around, guests coming and going quickly, no campers today. The cooks were on it, ticket times were great. Structure was around, but chaos abounded. I love any holiday time when your a server. Grumpy guests are at a minimum, happy people make for a more entertaining atmosphere. It makes your long day just fly by and your body sore by the end of the night. Heaven and Hell, just like life.

You can make better money on holidays as well, but it isn't just about that, well at least not for this server. As I have stated before, I am a single mom. My boys are my priority and that is wonderful to me. My outside life consists of work, so when I have a happy day at work, it is like going out with my girlfriends and having a few drinks. It is fun. I had some of the most crazy people in my section tonight. All of them with a sense of humor. I mean if you get my jokes, you rock. I tend to make fun of myself, for everyone should be able to find the humor in themselves before they can truly appreciate the humor of others. So if I tell you I forgot something because I color my hair too much and wonder if you think I should sue Miss Clariol and you laugh. You are my type of guests. I can then have a mini laugh show with you, hell the other night I played a prank on my table. Bad of me to be sure, but they got me back and played a prank on me. But it was fun, we laughed, they went home happy and I went off to clean with a smile on my face. I love it. I know I do alot of pure Bitching in my posts, but days like today, I can only smile and say "I love my job!"

"Humour....not just a chuckle, not just a laugh, but a smile on the face as well as in the heart."

Scheduled at Home Today

2007-05-09T14:51:00.000-04:00

So my son, who is four goes "Mommy you don't have to work today." It is a statement not a question. Unfortunately I am not working today. I usually have the same schedule every week, but business is lagging and everyone's hours have been cut. It sucks. It is worse when a four year old notices. He is pretty adjusted to when I leave and when I come home. Personally, I like that. It means no screaming fits (which some children do), no questions as to when I will be home, just a plain, but wonderful "Bye Mom, love you!"

The disaster is that if I work less, there is less money incoming. In a single income family with three boys, who all eat like pigs, that is a huge disaster. Thank God one thing is for certain in the service industry. Someone always wants to go home.

It is true, for every server you see smiling at you or walking around with a bounce in their step.. there is two in the back bitching that they had to be here today. It is one of the things I do not and probably never will understand. How can someone who makes their money only by the generosity of others afford to take a day off? I have only missed work three times in five years. And only because I had no choice. One time I threw out my back, went to the Emergency Room that day and was back on the floor in utter pain the next day.

Such is life. I must say work has been rather smooth sailing lately, with the exception of a man telling me I was pretty and had a very sexy derriere nothing much has happened, though since I am not working as much as I like, that could be the reason.

"When life hands you lemons.. .. throw them back and demand it make the lemonade for you!"

Verbal Abuse Is Still Abuse

2007-04-28T00:55:00.000-04:00

Just to let you know before I even start telling about the latest adventure, it was not a good one and if you don't like bad, bad language, just stop reading now.

I have seen some awful people in my day as a server. This guy that I had the "pleasure" (sarcasm) of serving tonight made me wish I could quit on the spot. He was a gigantic ASSHOLE! Not only was he ugly in the physical sort of way, his personality did nothing to approve upon his appearance. This jerk walks in with three attractive women. I seat them in my section, because I am a closer and unfortunately for me, it was my turn. He starts bitching right away about the table he is sitting at, when he picked the damn thing.

"I don't want a booth," snidely he comments.

"If a table is more to your liking, how is this one?" I politely offer a close one.

"No I want that one over there, don't you have a bigger table?"

"I can make any of these tables bigger for you if you like." I reply.

"Fine, I want this one. And I want it made larger now."

Now I am thinking, "Well if your fat ass stomach wasn't so fucking big you wouldn't need a bigger table."

Everyone seats themselves immediately after I expand the table to go with this jerks expanding waistline. Since I work for a corporation, I have things I am required to say to each table.

"So have you ever dined at a _____ before?"

"Of course we have, that is why we come back. Why do every time I come in here someone asks me the same damn question?" was his asinine reply.

"I am sorry sir, we ask everyone that in order to know whether to inform them or not about how generously we season our steaks. It is a tradition not to have a steak sauce on our table. Also, some guests do not like a large amount of seasoning for digestive reasons. It is our way of letting us know whether or not to inform you."

"Well that is just plain stupid. Just take our order I want to eat." hillbilly style.

"May I start you out with something....."

"You can stop talking now, I will have a sweet tea.. ect"

Rude ass! He was talking to me from then on out as if I was a sixth grader and that I would mess up everything. He proceeds to order for himself and one of the women at the table. The woman is looking embarrassed. She starts to say she likes something that he requested be left off of her food. He begins to treat her like an idiot and says "Fine then, we won't order the Cheese Fries." She ducks her head like she is afraid of this man.

First off, she is a nice looking woman. He was indeed an unattractive man. Not just because he is a fat ass. I have a fat ass too. He is just fucking ugly. I talk as little as possible to this table for the rest of their stay. But witnessed him talking to her. He constantly treated her like shit. Hell I bets he gives his own ass more respect when he wipes it.

I came so close to telling this egotistical bastard what I thought of him. If I had a job lined up already, I would have.

Verbal abuse is still abuse. If you sit there and let someone tear you apart emotionally and mentally you are being abused. If you cower every time someone who supposedly cares about you, speaks to you, you are being verbally abused. If you do not value yourself for who you are, and only let what everyone says to you influence you, you are not only receiving that abuse, you are inducing it upon yourself. I will tell you like I do and have all of my children. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. For if you do not love yourself for who you are, and live you life like you want too. You are not being true to yourself. Life is too damn short to sit there and let someone else control you and make your life miserable. There is too much misery and pain in life already, don't let someone add it to you.

And don't be like the affore mentioned man. He spent $82.30 and left a $4.70 tip. Talked to his woman as if she was a dog. Treated his server as if she was an idiot. Constantly walks around thinking his shit doesn't stink, but he is shit himself. Believe me.. there are enough assholes in this world. We don't need more of them.

Today's positive reinforcement statement follows.

"Karma is real and around you. Being true to yourself will surround you with those who really care."

An Adventuress

Stressed OUT and No One To Choke old

2007-04-20T16:07:00.000-04:00

Well are you ready for it. I have had one heck of a day. From the time I got up until the time I got home. Days like this one just make me want to scream. As I stated in yesterdays post my car broke down. Again! Someone so nicely sold me a bad alternator. I can deal with that. But this really nice man stopped and jumped my car so I could get to my dad's to fix it. And I tell you I must have the world's most contagious Karma. He managed to lock his keys in his car while it was running. I felt so bad. He got my car to start, then he was stuck. There wasn't a single thing I could do to help him either. Very frustrating. Then the Auto Store sold me two wrong parts, and it was getting really close to time for me to go to work. So my car is still broke. Figures. I am over it. I will finally repair it fully tomorrow.

Now for what you have been waiting for, the bitching. I tell you the first class cheapskates were out tonight. Forty dollar checks and 3 dollar tips.. Apparently we as servers need to unite and say...."Ummm, excuse me..Are you on welfare? Or are you having financial troubles? If so.. I will happily give you your tip back if you need it more then me." and of course we will be thinking.. "I know you are not having financial trouble you cheap prick. Just take your insult and leave." This page of mine is really to give the uneducated a clue. But since I am not sure all of them can read, could those of you that can please help spread the word...To quote a popular song out there.."If you ain't got no money, keep your broke ass home!"

I do have to say there was one truly shining star table. I must give them the credit in this post. They were a family of four plus a cutie of a baby boy. They had their food messed up. Not by me.(self defense there lol) and I didn't get to give them my complete attention, because I got terribly busy. But I can say they didn't have to ask for refills:o) Even though not everything was perfect. They were nothing but polite, considerate and kind. They truly knew I was busy and working hard. Hell at one point I finally gave up trying to keep up. I had to leave all of my tables unattended..sometimes a server must attended to mother nature's call. Anyway..I felt that I had not done my best like I always try to do. The point I am trying to make is, that they showed me a much needed kindness. They tipped nice, but that isn't the kindness that I am referring too. The kindness they gave was understanding. Believe it or not, that meant more then the tip. Though the tip didn't hurt LOL So I hope they come across this site and read the kind things I had to say.

Considering that my posts are usually quite vicious, I know this one is a milder one. Sorry folks, just not as grouchy as I was when I first got home. I promise to be more bitchy tomorrow.

And here is today's positive reinforcement statement. Enjoy!

"Understanding...it is not just something you do, you can also show it."

A Somewhat Ordinary Day OLD

2007-04-18T11:15:00.000-04:00

Hello again you avid readers. I can honestly say I had a rather normal day. Truthfully, every table I had was so nice. So nice I even told a table of three about my web site. Bad of me I am sure. But it is nice to have tables you can talk to and that doesn't act like you are stupid. I have to give props to this particular table though. They did my favorite thing that a guest can do. They left me a note saying Excellent Service. I absolutely love when someone does that. It makes me smile. I truthfully think that is the politest thing a guest can do. It makes me think of the old days when people actually wrote thank you cards. So to today's featured Table.. out goes a HUGE Thank You for being kind, funny, and thoughtful.. Rene gives you big Kudos. They know what the Rene means, just to let the others reading that it is an inside joke. My way of letting them know for sure I am talking about them.

So today's Adventure, was really a mild one. And I am grateful, because my new car broke down for the third time and I am about to run over the man that sold it to my dad. LOL.. not really but thinking about it makes me feel better.

Rounding up.. here is today's positive reinforcement.
"Kindness... more then words, you need to give it to get it, live it to love it and show it to grow it."

Redeeming Qualities

2007-04-15T23:53:00.000-04:00

If you read Co Worker Frenzy then you will remember me stating that I have been thinking that I was having a lack of faith in my career choice. That was never the way in the past. I enjoy my job. I believe that there are too many people out there working had for their money and hating every minute of it. Life is entirely too short to spend it completely miserable. I am a firm believer that if you don't like it, don't do it. One of my less vulgar motto's in fact. So I have been rethinking my employment choice. Self doubt is never good, no matter what it is that you are doubting about yourself. Just when I had reached my complete threshold of "Lack Of Faith" In walks redeeming qualities.

Redeeming Qualities are the people you live to serve. I had several of those tables today. These guests are the ones servers live to wait on. They are the ones that when you walk in the door, we literally get excited that we are going to serve you. And it is not just for the money. One particular table stands out above the rest. A couple with, count em up, FIVE boys. I say that loudly, because usually people with children make servers cringe. They sat down, welcomed me with a smile, made an effort to remember my name and had my personal favorite "Manners" . They were wonderful. The children were well behaved and delightful. One boy, in wanting dessert, said he had one more stomach to fill. I asked, "How many stomachs do you have?" He replied. "Ten." Trying hard not to crumble into laughter, my response was "No wonder you want dessert." Mom said no.. Understandably. But I had Teddy Grahams in reserve. He was pleased, I was tickled and mom wasn't irritated. It worked out well for us all. Seeing this family today, just reminded me why I love my job. It helped to put my spirits straight. I was so thrilled with the table I wouldn't have cared if I gotten a ten percent tip. For they were clever, polite and funny. I say "Thank You!" Your presence today was what I needed to make me happy to be at work again. I doubt they will ever read this post, but knowing someone will makes it worth working a double.

Usually I have some table to complain about. But no one really set me off. I had nothing but the redeeming tables I needed to restore my faith in love of my job.

"Just when life stretches you to the breaking point...a tenth stomach might just be your redeeming quality to restore your faith. ;)"

An Adventuress

Chuck E. Cheese and Me old

2007-04-15T23:47:00.000-04:00

Well another day in the life of a waitress. But this time it was my day off and decided to spend some time at Chuck E. Cheese's surrounded by children, games and food. Go figure another restaurant. I can say that I made the choice to be there to spend quality time with my son. Since that is my main priority on my days off.

Now for the main reason I am posting this blog today. This one is to the mothers and fathers out there that take their kids to Chuck E. Cheese and let the restaurant be the babysitter. Get off of you lazy ass, quit stuffing the pizza down your throat and actually walk around and keep an eye on your children. This one woman sat on her butt while her four kids went up to the Chuck that is a robot and watched as they beat the robot with a hammer. Now the hammer was a toy, but still let me say this" Way to go!! You're really teaching your children proper public behavior. I bet your boy gets kicked out of school for being a bully someday!!"

IF you have children,, try being a parent not just a fetus carrier. Children require a lot of work and a lot of attention so if you can't handle four of them then you should have kept your legs closed, made him wear a condom, or invested in birth control. There are places out there that charge little. or are you too lazy to go? this woman sure wasn't too lazy to get laid.

I do truly wonder if there are people out there with any sense at all. But I can honestly say there were a lot of parents there today that were truly spending time with their kids, not just giving them tokens and turning them loose. The lady above was actually one of the few doing that, at least today.. So Kudos to the parents I saw today that were actually having fun with their children. When they get older they may not remember that precise moment, but if you are always doing that.. they will always remember those type of moments fondly.

Since I didn't work today and have some idiot to complain about that was my own. I will leave off until tomorrow.
Here is today's positive reinforcement statement.
Enjoy!

"Children.. you can't help but love them. For no one can make you smile bigger or laugh harder then a child."

Co Worker Frenzy

2007-04-15T02:06:00.001-04:00

Life and times of a waitress is not only complicated by ups and downs of good tips, bad tips or happy guests versus unhappy guests. It can also be complicated by co workers that drive you down a hill with no brakes. Some have asked me, "Why do you bitch so much in your writing?" Well I do believe that it is becoming a prerequisite to be a bitchy person in order to serve. Not necessarily because you want to complain, but sometimes I believe it is the only way people hear you sometimes. But you get thirteen servers together on a busy Friday or Saturday night and you are lucky they aren't killing each other. Multiply that by two managers running the place, four hostesses scrambling about and a regional manager who thinks everyone sucks. You end up with stressed out women, men who are avoiding them and one person who thinks they know it all and that they're perfect. Enough to drive you crazy. That is just some of the escapades that happened tonight.

Working in an ordered chaos is a challenge I love, but lately I am just not feeling my choice of profession is working for me. I know most of it is attitude, and lately my attitude stinks. I am usually happy to go to work. After all work equals money, but the co worker's are bringing me down. Hell they complain more then me, and I am proficient in complaining. This blog is to give the co workers out there a hint to start acting your age. Stop taking the last item and not replacing it.. or my personal favorite. The knives are out so you go back and grab just one. For you. Laziness is rampant in servers. Don't be fooled by the fact that you see your server moving quickly around the restaurant. They are busy, friendly and maybe even efficient, but rest assured they are annoying some one in the back out of view of your eyes. Keeping ones mouth shut at work is a job itself. No wonder I write. Stress release is useful and can keep one sane.

Well I do have a personal vent just for upper management suits who probably never waited a table in there life and think they are perfect. "Bite Me!" Just because you get paid more does not mean you are "The Man." Standing in a corner watching all of us and then pointing out every tiny mistake or cashing out our tables does not make you good at your job. Not when you are doing it intentionally. Makes you look good to the guests, but like an ass to the servers. Your opinions are valid under some circumstances, but show some leniency during the busiest nights of the week. We are above all else human.

That said, all the stress is now gone. Reinforcement statement follows.

"Bitching.....not just annoying words, but a stress release tool."

An Adventuress

Spring Break Cheapskates old

2007-04-14T12:59:00.000-04:00

Well another day in the life of a working waitress. This time I am going to let the Spring Break butt heads have it. Can someone please tell me how you can go on vacation, drink like a fish, spend money like water, then go out to eat and sit on your ass and eat and drink more? And you can act like a first class snob when you know the next day you are going to be at the beach showing your tits to any drunk asshole who asks? Honey you can't be a snob and a slut....the combination just doesn't work. Just because you are young we as employees do not expect much as a tip.. really we don't, but if you spend forty dollars on alcohol and another forty on food and run us around in circles (yes we run in circles literally), we do expect a decent tip. This particular group had three checks two each were near a hundred dollars and they didn't even tip 10 percent. So I will say it again.. eat at the fast food restaurant.. then drink at the bar. I don't feel like being your running machine, maid and servant for free. Basically.. i think your an asshole..

Now I know I am not some cu pie doll you would rather have waiting on you do you can look at her ass while she shakes it.. (yes there are women out there that serve like that) I am however quite good at my job. So treat me and any other server who waits on you correctly. And yes I know there are servers out there that basically suck, believe me, I have worked with them.. some really bad ones are located in Bloomington, Indiana.. trust me.. not all college kids are smart. And some blonde's really are stupid. At least this one at that restaurant is, but again I am not her.
Just to give some more information, after all of our tables leave.. we clean them.. we don't' have busy boys.. that is for lower class restaurants like Bob Evans and Denny's. So not only are we your servers we are your clean up crew. When your child makes a huge mess on the floor, well that is my fat ass on my knees picking it up after you leave. Would you go to your mothers house and leave a mess like that? I don't think so.. she would kick your sorry ass. Also.. after you leave we clean everything that touches your food before you get it.. like plates spoons, knives, ramekins, dressings, salads.. . hell i could go on and on.

Okay, done venting for the day.. and prefer to leave on a positive note.
So here is today's positive reinforcement statement.
"Life is short...so live it well, with class, with love, with adventure, with kindness and of course just a little bit of Bitching."
Chrys

The Bitchin Blog old blog, first ever

2007-04-14T12:47:00.000-04:00

I think I decided to make my blog site one for venting.. so if you come across this and all you read is my bitching well that is what the blog is for. So if you don't like my views.. guess what I live in a free country where we have freedom of speech so if you don't like it.. don't read it.

Example.. what every happened to common respect and courtesy? I am a server, waitress as some still call it. Yes I am there to wait on you. But guess what I am not an idiot. Not only am I taking care of you and the six others you brought in.. I have five other tables with no less then two people each at them. So if I forget your butter once, it is not because I am stupid, but because I had to remember about ten other things and I only have two hands to carry everything with. Also server average on their hourly pay rate about 2 to 3 dollars an hour. And we NEVER see a paycheck... so if you spend 70 dollars and tip us three you are insulting us ...so just go to McDonald's and spend 20.. save yourself 53 dollars. McDonald's employees don't expect a tip. Now if I give bad service.. then just stiff me.. seriously.. i would rather be stiffed then insulted.. and if you tip a dollar on a 100 like a friend of mine had happen.. and he is an excellent server.. then take your happy ass to the grocery store spend the money on food and cook it.. carry it.. basically get it your damn self.

Now don't get me wrong.. I love my job.. I love meeting new people everyday.. I am a chatterbox.. but things that should be done are not being done anymore. Then all you hear are people complaining about how the world sucks...Well duh!!! Stop bitching and do something.. if your in a bad mood ..don't take it out on someone else.. smile.. the person you look at will smile back and that will make you feel better, at least a little bit. But this post was mainly.. to tell the cheap assholes out there to learn how to tip or go to the fast food place around the corner..

Feel free to comment.. as since this is my first real post I will be happy to read any comments you feel like posting.
Chrys

Welcome to Adventures In Waitressing

2007-04-14T12:40:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Adventures In Waitressing!! I am finally up and running and plan on moving my old blogs here before I begin my new ones. This blog is not only going to be about serving and things to do with the job, but will also be about personal life and if you want information on dining etiquette. I hope everyone will enjoy my writings and rants. Feel free to vent yourself on my replies. Every comment is welcome, even the negative ones.

An Adventuress

A Special Thank You for Vixen

2007-04-14T12:36:00.000-04:00

This post is a special thank you to Vixen for all her help to the html illiterate in me. If not for her I wouldn't have this kickin template. For I know and God knows I couldn't have done it without her help. Thank you again Vixen for being a great help and an awesome friend.

An Adventuress

Hola!@

2007-04-14T03:58:00.000-04:00

Test post...this is how it will look...