Sunday, January 27, 2008

Double Duty

I wrote this story once already this week. But thanks to a rather cute kitten, I have had to do a rewrite. She likes to chase the pointer from the mouse around. Not cute when I am just about to post this blog. Hence the dog. I was doing double duty and the cat was double the trouble.

I actually pulled two doubles in a row this week. Tomorrow will be my third. Just call me a sucker for picking up shifts. Doubles aren't so bad, that is, if you make enough money to make it worth your while. Sometimes that is hard. Being a single mom, I try to spend every possible moment with my kids, but the lure of the pick up shifts, snags me almost every single time.

With the exception of a manager who does the emotional flip, things were pretty normal on the shifts. Though I have had the pleasure of making some new regular guests. I love meeting new people, but when you meet a couple that you click with, it makes a long drawn out double worth it. Monday J and S (you know who you are) became my newest regulars. A lively couple to be sure. They have a great sense of humor. Thank God! I can be a character.

Would you like an example of my humor? It almost got me into trouble tonight. I had three handsome men at one of my tables. I had fun talking to them. I was refilling drinks on the table and they were talking about taxes. One of them was telling the other, "Oh, you should be able to deduct your computer, truck....ect."

So I just had to jump in and say, "I will let you deduct some of my stuff for a cut of the profits."

The cowboy responded, "Well, I am afraid the only way I could do that is if you had a saddle on."

My response was, "It's not like I haven't done that before."

First of all, I was totally kidding, but sometimes my mouth shoots off before my brain functions properly. Thankfully, the men knew it was a joke. See what doubles make me do? They make me tired and goofier then normal. Before the night was through I told another table they could spank me. See why my regulars, have to have a great sense of humor?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Idiot Rising

Just a little advertisement for the people who don't like to tip. Here is a cheap place to go and eat.

But now for the real deal. It is not a good idea to quit smoking, start a diet and pull a double all on the same day. Nope, no way. All my emotions were everywhere. That is scary. I personally like to be in control. Don't like it when I snap at my idiotic co-worker. Even though he deserves it.

Nothing like getting your patience removed during a rush. I work with this one guy. He gets on my nerves so bad. He reminds me of my fourteen year old. Only he is in a twenty something body and is like he had double ADHD of what my teenager has. So basically it is like working with my son, only this guy is annoying and rude. He has no tact whatsoever.

Example: He knows I haven't dated in awhile. He will not hesitate to try to hook me up with a guest. That would not be so bad, with the exception that he acts like a moron. He will say things, in front of the guest mind you, like "You know you need a man to tap that." Yadda Yadda. Rude. He just pushes my buttons completely the wrong way.

So I basically almost punched him today. Thankfully I didn't. But that doesn't mean I didn't want to knock him out anyways. As Forrest's mama always said, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Honestly, I would probably bitch more, but I am too tired. Sad isn't it?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Serving Game

I was participating in a game at work today. One I did not wish to play. It is a common game. I am sure most of you know what the game is, but didn't realize it had a name. The game title is "Be My Bitch". Yep you read correctly.


1. Ignore your server when she approaches your table. (After all, she is on your dime.)

2. Make sure she stands there at least thirty seconds before you acknowledge her. (Because you are the only table in the restaurant.)

3. When you do speak to her, make sure you don't answer any of her questions. (They were all stupid anyways.)

4. Give her your order in short, precise words, making sure you are extremely rude. (Thinking, "Where do they get these people?")

5. Make sure you order at least one item wrong, that way you can blame the server for your mistake. (Don't forget to yell at your server, about your problem, from across the room.)

6. Every time she brings you something to the table, send her back for other items. (Because ordering Diet and eating three sides of ranch, butter and sour cream is a healthy diet.)

7. If she escapes, make sure to stop her every time she passes your table to complain, whine, bitch and moan. (Because your voice sounds like angels.)

8. Ask for the manager. Make sure you bitch to him as well. After all, we are playing "Be My Bitch." (Be extremely polite and say, "I don't mean to complain...")

9. Just to be super annoying, ask a passing server, "Where the hell is my server? I haven't seen her since I sat down." (Make sure you give an insulting description of your server. It entertains the co-workers.)

10. Turn up your nose at server, because you think she is beneath you, since you probably have a better job. (Which probably requires a lot of sitting. By the way, that explains your Fat Ass.)

And last but not least....

11. Make sure you tip her two dollars on fifty-five. That way she can feel insulted yet again after you leave. (Which is why I think there should be a button titled, Tip Reject. But that is another story.)

Personally I think this game sucks. But it seems to be quite popular. Maybe it is fun for the other person. Too bad I am too nice to play this game huh?

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Best Compliment

First off, let me apologize for my long absence. Now back to business.

Recently, I had the best compliment paid to me, ever, by a guest. I loved it. Now don't get me wrong, they left me a big, fat tip, but that is not why I was flattered.

"Is your check ready for me to take care of?" I inquire.

"Yes, hon and you can keep the change." is their response.

"Thanks again, now you two have a safe trip to Georgia, got to return home to your little one."

"Oh we plan on it, thanks again for excellent service."

"You are quite welcome, remember when you come back to ask for me."

"Don't worry we will. You are absolutely the nicest server we have ever had, actually too nice, if that is possible. If you are not here when we come back, we are not dining here." they say.

I crack up, blushing if it is possible, "Now don't do that, we have wonderful servers here. Come on in and enjoy your meal whether I am here or not."

General chit chat continues until they leave, but I am serious when I say, that was the best compliment I have ever had. I have had compliments, naturally. But this couple was so cute. I enjoyed waiting on them.

Don't I just wish every table was as pleasing to wait upon.

But that will leave me a story for tomorrow.

I'm back!! Woo Hoo!!