Tiny Tot Warfare

I just had to write about this today. In my line of work, I see many stupid things. The most popular is how parents treat their children.

I have see parents smack bottoms, take children to the bathroom (and you know the kid doesn't have to potty), seen a spatula brought from home (it sat on the table as a warning to the child not to act up) and seen children ruling the parents.

Children ruling the parents are the worst. Not just because it isn't appropriate, but these kids are unruly, disrespectful and sometimes mean. What a lovely next generation some people are raising. The latest in this thread of children having the upper hand is: There was an adorable little girl, or I thought she was at first. The parents placed her in the high chair and all was well for about fifteen minutes. After that she was hell on two feet. She proceeded to scream like a banshee, kick like a mule and tell her parents to let her out NOW! Instead of disciplining said child, they removed her from her seat and proceeded to let her run around the table and to various other areas in the restaurant. At the risk of losing my job, I wanted to tell them to park her bratty ass.

It is dangerous to allow children to run freely around a restaurant, not to mention annoying as hell. The food on the plates is at minimum 180 degrees. The child can get burnt. The child causes a server to play "Dodge the People" and believe me it isn't a fun game. The child also annoys the other patrons of the establishment. Basically, it shows a complete lack of parental skills.

Guess what? When this kid is 16, and she is not listening to a word you say or respecting you, you are going to be whining, bitching and moaning to everyone who will listen.

Save our ears. Take control and be a Mom or Dad!

I am the take my child to the bathroom type. My boys sit at the table, do not scream, kick or cry. And if they make a mess they shouldn't make, they are the ones cleaning it up. God help my kids if they ever even thought of spreading mashed potatoes on the wall. (Yes that has happened) Their art work is limited to paper. Don't get me wrong, they are not perfect, but when we go out to dine, unless it is Chuck E. Cheese, they behave or else.

Tell me about some of your child experiences while dining out. I am most curious to hear new stories.

Tip Jar Wonders

Speaking as a person who survives on tips, I have noticed a huge crop of Tip Jars. Placed at some relatively unique locations. So I wonder now, are people just using tips jars for extra cash?

I went into a Dunkin Donuts. There was one by a cash register. I know for a fact that the people that work there make above minimum wage. So does handy a fat lady like me a donut require a tip? I mean, your paying a dollar a donut as it is, so what would you tip? and why?

Do the random tip jars make a mockery of the people who are actually in need of a tip? Is the result of numerous jars at outrageous locations the reason for dwindling tip amounts? Basically, are people getting tired of tipping?

You tip your hair dresser, the bell hop, your server and several other occupations. Now we are supposed to tip a cashier?

I am not saying this to degrade the random jars, hell I don't care if someone is trying to make an extra buck or two. That is what I am trying to do every day at work. But if we don't tip the cashier at the grocery store, why should we tip out someone at a donut shop? They do less then the grocery clerk does.

The next thing you know there will be a tip jar at the doctors office, the bank and the insurance company. In my opinion they all get too much of our money anyway. If they start using the random Tip Jar, are they in anymore rights then the before mentioned cashier?

Just some curious questions that have been flitting through my mind. Crazy, I know, but hey that is me.

Are You Clear?

Are you clear on etiquette around the world? A friend of mine sent me this little quiz. Take it. Enjoy. And learn some interesting facts. For those that are thinking of avoiding the Quiz. It is only ELEVEN questions okay? LOL

http://www.fekids.com/img/kln/flash/DontGrossOutTheWorld.swf

Power Tripping

In my particular restaurant, we have employees called "Keys". Basically, a Key is a person who excels at customer service, their job and can do several positions in the store. I am a Key. I can serve, bar tend, prep, dish wash and do Fry/Salad(busy ass back line cook position). I love that. It is a tough and honored position to have in a store. Because a Key can do all of these different positions they are honored occasionally with a high hourly wage and day where they work as the boss.

It is a difficult position to be in at times. For if you cannot handle being the boss for a day and then returning to your usual position amongst your peers, being Key is not for you.

There is one server that I work with, whom most of the restaurant despises. I have given him the benefit of the doubt. Tried to see the good side. Today, I failed and lost my temper. The bosses think he is great. He is not. He is a sub par server, not eloquent with guests and is lazy to the point of ticking off ever server he is stuck in a section with. Not to mention the hosts would love to string him up by his toes, upside down from a tree and beat him silly.

The other day, the bosses made him Key.

I will admit, minus his ability to speak to his co-workers correctly, he did a very good job. For once, I saw him bus tables, actually talk to guests and run food. I was impressed to see him actually working hard for a change.

Needless to say, he managed to basically tick off all of the servers tonight. I am glad I was boss lady tonight. The only thing I saw him doing wrong was marching down the server line and barking orders to clean this, stock that, like a drill Sargent. I am pretty sure I don't wish to be in his shoes tomorrow morning when he returns to server status.

I served this morning, bar tended in the afternoon and was Key at night. I had a busy day.

I ended up telling the new Key off in the morning shift. We were both serving and he snatched a tray of food, for my table, that I was going to run and told me to stand there and wait for the next food to come out of the window. Not smart. Being I am a natural red head, I am blunt to a fault and I have a temper to compile it all together. This is the response he earned.

"Don't tell me how to do my fucking job, (insert dumb ass' name here). Piss off!"

I went directly to my boss and said, "I let (insert insulting name here) tick me off and I let him have it. Just in case he says something to you. Not going to deny it. He deserved it. You can write me up if you want."

The new "Key" had no response. He is not used to people telling them what they think of him or his attitude. His eyes got wide and he looked shocked. If he knew me, he wouldn't be shocked at all.

Don't Touch My Baby!

This day started out normal. I was in a good mood. Business was steady. Not too much chaos. Hell, a nice looking man even asked for my phone number today. Then I got this table I am about to speak of.

The guests sat down and I politely greeted them. I took their order and took care of their every need. There was three of them and they each needed no less then six refills a piece. Everything went smoothly. All smiles. They had a very adorable baby girl. The Father was having difficultly getting his daughter in her car seat carrier. And here is what happened.


"Are you having trouble sir?" I ask, as I reach towards the car seat to help him figure out how to fasten it up.


"Don't touch my baby!" is snarled by the mother who was trapped near the wall.


I literally flinch. A simple, don't touch the baby, in a moderate tone would have sufficed. But she changed from a nice smiling customer to a psycho before my eyes.


I quickly moved my hands away from the car seat. I look at her and say, "I'm sorry. I was just trying to help him fasten her in."


"I don't care what you were trying to do. Don't touch my baby!" her voice gets agitated even more.


"I truly am sorry. I wasn't trying to offend."


"I don't care what you were trying to do. You don't just go up to someones baby and try to touch them. Do you have any idea what is on your hands after carried all of that stuff in there?" she questions me, as her voice gets increasingly louder.


"I understand. I have three boys. If it makes you feel any better, I wash my hands every time I enter that door and I just washed them before I came back out here." I stated.


She gets even more angry with me. "Just bring us our change we want to go."


At this point I am baffled. I didn't think I had done anything wrong and I believed I had handled the confrontation appropriately. I quickly brought them their change and went in search of a manager. I found him and told him. "If you get a complaint call later, it will be about me. I was just trying to help and this woman went crazy on me over her baby."


He proceeded to ask me what happened and I told him. I told him I thought she was psycho. Apparently they had came to the door and were listening in on my conversation. All hell broke loose when he went out there to talk to them. They proceeded to lie and say I was a shitty server the whole time. They said I never tried to apologize and got confrontational with them. That of course almost got me in trouble. Thank goodness, my boss knows me much better then that. The only thing I got in trouble for was for not taking him to the office to tell him what happened. Still, I have never had a guest go crazy on me before. Shook me to the core. I hate that about my industry. The customer is not always right. I am sorry, but guest or not, I feel they don't have the right to go ape shit on a server. So basically, I am just down right personally offended. I gave my night shift away. I was so mad that this woman was allowed to treat me like I was disgusting, accuse me of harming her child and got free food out of it.


Naturally, I didn't get a tip. Imagine that!

Behind The Scenes

Ever really wondered what was going on while you were sitting and waiting patiently?

Every restaurant has rules. Rules of conduct. Rules to be followed. Rules to add order to chaos.

Sad to say, that when a server approaches your table, 90% of them have to say something specific. Usually our sales pitch. It is required of us to spiel you. We have to lure your attention to something more specific. It is a main part of my job and the only part I dislike. I think it makes us sound like a robot. As if I have a huge computer chip shoved up my ass. I can see it in the eyes of my patrons as I am speaking. Thank goodness for creativity. I endeavour to do my best to read my table. Judge and see if they mind if I toss in a joke. Humour lightens the mood. Thankfully, most of my guests tend to have a sense of humor.

The next step of the behind the scenes is timing. Most have a time limit on when everything has to be served. At my particular restaurant, drinks must arrive within two minutes, after we leave the table. Not an unreasonable goal. Except on weekends. Thirteen servers. One drink station. Utter catastrophe.

Then the appetizers must reach you in a certain amount of time. That one depends on the cooks. Trust me when I say don't piss them off. The better you are in with your cooks, the quicker you will get what you need.

Next, the salads. Here is the tricky part. After you have received your appetizer, we then have two minutes to make your salads and get them to the table. It is usually a toss up (no pun intended). If you bring the salads to quickly, you take the chance of angering your guests. If you bring them out too late, the meal could arrive to quickly. Again, offending your guests. One salad station, and 13 servers. Good Luck!

Finally, your meal arrives. That is when servers go crazy. Not intentionally. But simple things, such as extra butter and A1 (which is made with raisins, and a true steak lover would NEVER use it) could have been asked for at time of order. The worst, is that someone will ask for one thing, you bring that, then they will ask for another. One item at a time. Stresses me out. Makes it difficult for any server to keep up with all tables then. I actually had one table asked me for ten different items, as I brought out each prior request. Personally wanted to scream.

Desserts. Believe it or not, it is 99% mandated that your server ask you about them. What sucks about this, we don't care if you have dessert or not. Your server, does not care if you order it.

In the alley, as we call the area we run around in, we have running side work. Things we must do, such as bake bread, stock ice, fill dressings and bring up plates. Good luck on that happening. Servers are divided up. Fifty percent lazy, Fifty percent hard working.

The slower the night, the less that gets done. Never understood that. Probably never will.

Tomorrow I will return to my regularly scheduled bitching and tell you about how lazy some servers can be. Maybe a list of 10 ways you can tell you have a bad co-worker. That sounds more fun to me. But I have such a huge list. I will need to narrow it down. So stay tuned.

Pride and Prejudice

Not many people can actually say that they love their job. I can. I take pride in my work. I take pride in the fact that I can make someone at my table leave with a smile on their face. I crack jokes, bring refills, smile and chit chat. Sure that is not ALL that I do, but still I love my job. I love people. What I hate are assholes. Below are my qualifications for being an Asshole.

You might be an asshole if....

1.) pull a piece of your hair out after you have finished your meal and put it on your plate. Then you complain about it. (Yes this happened tonight.)

2.) are an Arabic person, who sneers at your server, run her ragged, spend $200 and leave $10. (This too happened tonight. If you don't like Americans, but you hate your country too. Don't fucking come to America dumb ass!)

3.) you try to convert me to your religion, thinking that I do not have any because I work at night. (Another incident. I believe in God. I believe in speaking of Him freely or any religion you believe. But when I am working, I do NOT have time for a 15 minute discussion on why I work Sundays.)

4.) let your children run rampant, nearly knocking down servers who are carrying food over 180 degrees. (Your children will get burnt, someones dinner will be ruined, a server could get injured and then there will be a pissed off cook. Children need to be taught proper public behavior.)

5.) your bill equals $74, you have a gift card for $40 and only tip on the $34 you spent of your "own" money. (The bill prior to gift cards is what you tip on you ignorant ass. Yes, this happens "all" the time.)

6.) you are set in the back, then shout at your server of the injustice of being sat there, saying it is because you are black. Then telling said server that you are personally offended. (I know that prejudice still reigns. I am NO fool. But, don't take it out on your server. She didn't seat you. Everyone has to sit in the back at some point. It is not a bus you have been assigned to seat at on a permanent basis. Grow up!)

What inspired this little rant was Asshole avoidance number 2. Prejudice. Prejudging. Things like this are common in the restaurant world. Servers will often prejudge their tables. I personally work with one man (and I use that term loosely) who does it to every table in his section. At the place I work at, servers are set up as teams. There are two servers for each section. If you are his partner, you know you are going to make money. He will judge a table before it sits down, and if he thinks they are cheap, he will pass it on to his partner. I think he is a judgmental Asshole. The worst kind.

I am probably the least racist person you will ever have the chance to meet. I think if there wasn't a purpose to all of us being different colors and races, then we would be the same. Hell we all come out of a woman the same way, as well as being made the same way. So when I have a table of someone who is a different race then myself, I tend to give them special treatment. My way of showing that just because you have had shitty service in the past from former servers. You're not going to get it from me. That is the way of things. Some servers will just go through the motions, barely a smile, if your lucky a refill in under three minutes and a friendly hello. That truly depends on how long a server has served. The older the server, the most likely for prejudgement.

So tonight, with the guests from #2, I went above and beyond. I even held their adorable little baby boy for awhile, so the mother could eat. He was fussy, yet too cute and for some unexplainable reason, babies love me. He giggled and smiled and the mother was able to finish her meal. The above mentioned was my thanks. Maybe I should be grateful there was a tip at all. The man who paid sneered at me the whole time. Oh well, too bad for him. He got great service, his wife got to enjoy at least part of her meal and the baby giggled. He just needs to go back to his country if he dislikes Americans so much. Better yet, he needs to go through a drive thru and order his food, take it home and sneer at the television in private.

See I dislike reverse racists, as I call them, just as much as I dislike whites being judgmental.